Possibly, Maybe
by blu-eyed-demon
Summary: Bobby Drake is utterly miserable and only Jean Paul seems to have noticed.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Possibly, Maybe: Chapter One  
>Author: Blu_Eyed_Demon<br>Fandom: Uncanny X-men  
>Rating: PG<br>Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or any of the characters or this would have probably happened in the comics  
>Summary: Bobby's utterly miserable and no one but Jean Paul seems to be noticing..<br>Chapter One: In which everyone drinks. Jean Paul stalks, Annie attempts to play match-maker, Warren puts his foot in it and Bobby mopes.

Chapter One 

"Annie, must we have this conversation every time?" Jean Paul Beaubier sighed, staring down into his glass of wine.

They were sitting outside enjoying the balmy summer evening, sipping wine and taking advantage of the relative calm. He'd wanted to forget about it all for just one evening and simply enjoy being with a friend.

Jean Paul had never known the mansion to be so peaceful and it was certainly a welcome change. After the debacle that had been Alex and Lorna's non-wedding day, it had been felt that the kids, teachers and X-men alike all needed a break. The decision had led them to this, an entire week stretched out before them with the children all off on a week long field trip and, barring any world catastrophes, no missions and no obligations, just rest and relaxation.

It was the first night without the children and a party had inevitably broken out. There was no real plan for it by anyone but that evening they all had seemed to congregate and music and alcohol had quickly made a welcome appearance. They all needed to let off some steam.

Having held nothing but contempt for the sugary bubble-gum pop that had been playing, Jean Paul strongly suspected that Jubilee and Paige had taken control of the sound system, the Canadian had suggested that they step outside with a good bottle of wine. And of course, inevitably, the conversation lead back to the same subject that it always did with Annie; their love lives. More specifically Jean Paul's.

"Well, how can I not bring it up?" Annie asked, a smirk in her voice that he was sure could be found on her lips too if they weren't hidden by the wine glass. "You haven't been listening to a word I've been saying because you've been watching him!"

"Of course I was listening to you, I was simply," He lied as he topped up his own glass, careful to keep his voice light with an air of innocence. "Admiring the scenary. No harm in that."

"You all but had your tongue hanging out!" The Nurse laughed back causing him to sniff indignantly "Ok then, if you were listening to me, what was I talking about?"

"Carter?" Jean Paul cast his mind around quickly. "Or Alex?" It was hardly a difficult guess, it was obvious she'd been talking about her son or her new lover it's all she'd ever talked about since Jean Paul had known her, besides his own dismal love life of course. "Or both." He added, sending her a smug expression that clearly said 'Try and deny that!'

"I was looking for something more specific but we both know you can't give that to me because Frosty the Snowman had your undivided attention when it should have been focused on me. " She smiled sweetly as she spoke, her tone was playful and there was a slightly mischievous glint to her eyes.

At the mention of Drake, Jean Paul's eyes darted to the nearest window again. Bobby was still perfectly framed by the pane, drinking a beer and sitting with a few other X-men and actually smiling for the first time in a long while. He doubted the sincerity of the smile but wasn't close enough to see if it reached Bobby's eyes. He wasn't sure anyone else paid enough attention to notice or care.

Jean Paul honestly couldn't fathom the density of these people sometimes. These people who claimed to be Bobby's friends, his family, not one of them seemed to truly notice or care how rare a smile from Bobby Drake had become lately. Perhaps Jean Paul only noticed because he watched Bobby more than most.

He worried about the younger man and yet was in a position from which he could do little about it. Bobby's closest friends were the ones who should have been the first to see and were in the position to help him but they were blinded. To them he was still good old Bobby, the childish prankster. Why did only Jean Paul see that Bobby hadn't played pranks or even cracked a corny joke lately?

Having been watching Bobby, subtlety he hoped, for much of the evening so far, Jean Paul knew that the relaxed and happier looking Bobby was simply a product of a little too much beer. He also felt that a beer fuelled smile was better than the sullenness and thinly veiled misery that had become the Iceman's new trademark. He'd never thought he'd see the day when he actually missed Robert Drake's sense of humour and yet that day had been and gone. Most of all, though, he missed hearing Bobby laugh. The genuine, gleeful laugh that had once sounded out so easily and had now been replaced with a hollow version that never rang true.

"You've won your man, Annie." Jean Paul said when he eventually spoke "Do not begrudge the less fortunate for enjoying the few crumbs that they are offered."

Annie's eyes were full of concern as she placed her hand over his and Jean Paul hated it, he hated pity above all else. "You know, you'll never know until you actually tell him. You haven't been rejected, he has no idea you feel the way you do."

Jean Paul pulled his hand away. "Annie, just stop. He is straight so why would I set myself up for rejection? I'm not a complete glutton for punishment and I do not need false hope."

Even as he said the words, he knew there was still part of him that hoped beyond hope that perhaps one day he would hold Bobby in his arms and call him his own. It was the same part of him that often indulged in ever increasingly detailed and complicated day-dreams of being Bobby's lover and life partner. His infatuation had progressed some time ago to the point where he could honestly not believe that he would ever want to be with anyone as much as he wanted to be with Bobby. At this point, he was fairly certain, he had developed a genuine problem.

Even to himself, he couldn't quite explain what it was about Bobby that attracted him so much. As of late, Bobby had been harsh and rude to almost everyone around 90% of the time. He wore terrible clothes and owned what seemed to be an unending supply of Hawaiian shirts. His jokes were awful and his pranks were infantile at best, ludicrous and infuriating at worst. And yet, and yet, his exuberance for life, his joy in little things had warmed Jean Paul's heart. He was aware of it even more than ever before now that Bobby's exuberance had lost it's spark.

"How can you be so sure he's straight?" Annie attempted to reason, though Jean Paul was already shaking his head. They'd had this discussion before, so many times in fact that Annie knew his response and countered it before he could even verbalise it "You do know that the whole empathic skank incident really doesn't mean much, did you know Bobby's always been very susceptible to mind control?"

"And how on earth do you know that?" Jean Paul enquired, topping up her glass for her. He felt that, since Annie was clearly not going to let this subject drop then he might as well actively and willingly participate. If nothing else it meant he got to openly speak about Bobby with someone other than himself. His internal monologues centred around the topic of Iceman were beginning to make him question his own sanity at times.

"I may have peaked in his file, I am the school nurse after all. I need to get to know my patients." Annie wore a sheepish grin with a hint of glee to which Jean Paul rolled his eyes quite affectionately and sipped his wine, mulling over the new information without inclination to speak.

His glass was half empty by the time he'd found his voice again.

"The fact remains that I have been here for quite some time now and Robert has not once returned my interest in any way. He has never flirted, never sent any sort of signals or given any indication of being aware of mine. He certainly has, however, shown an interest in women. After all he kissed you." Jean Paul's voice grew tense and he suddenly fell quiet.

Annie had insisted the kiss hadn't been a real kiss. That it had simply been a moment between too desperately lonely people that they had both regretted afterwards but it still hurt Jean Paul deeply that she, his friend, had gone further with the man of his affections than he had.

"An interest in women doesn't automatically mean a disinterest in men." Annie seemed to have an answer for everything tonight Jean Paul mentally noted before beginning to wonder if she'd perhaps practised this conversation and prepared her arguments ahead of time.

"He's never even hinted to it, Annie. Surely with me of all people he would have. There are not all that many homosexuals in this place, surely if he had any inclination he would have sort me out!" His expression was one of perverse triumph. He never liked to lose an argument, even if it was one that he wished wasn't true.

"He wouldn't if he didn't know about you."

"Mon Dieu, Annie! Now you are just being absurd!" He scoffed loudly "Don't be so ridiculous. My coming out was all over the media, I have a book about being a gay mutant, Xavier hired me because of my sexuality. Everyone knows I'm queer, I don't hide it. How could he not know, we've known one another for years!" Jean Paul shook his head derisively at her, feeling angry that she would suggest such a stupid thing. That she thought he'd actually go for such a suggestion. He certainly wasn't that desperate. "Annie, please, just stop this."

He drained his glass, deciding that he had enough 'fun' for the evening. As he did so, Annie too lost her temper.

"For God's sake Jean Paul!" She snapped, jumping up as she glared. "He had no idea you were gay. He was shocked, he had no absolutely clue. None. Now sit your butt back down Mister!"

Obediently, he sank back down into his seat struck momentarily dumb.

"You pick 'em pretty but thick, can't deny that." Annie said in wake of his silence, smiling a little evidently trying to break the tension between them.

"Shocked?" He repeated softly, his anger giving way to an emotion hard to describe. His stomach started churning and his heart speeding up as his chest tightened a little. His eyes glanced back to the window where he could see Bobby pouring himself a drink, he was no longer surrounded by friends and his smile seemed to have gone once more. "Horrified?"

Bobby certainly had been angry lately and a complete jerk towards newcomers but he had never struck Jean Paul as closed-minded or a bigot. As if falling for a straight man wasn't bad enough, had he really fallen for a homophobe? If that was so then clearly life, God, the universe, whatever was in control certainly had it in for him. He just never caught a break.

"No, no, more like it had never occurred to him before and he didn't understand why he wouldn't know you were gay if everyone else had." Annie tried to explain, rushing as though she was worried he might try to bolt again. "I did sort of accuse him of being a bigot but then we talked for ages and I really don't think he had an issue with it at all."

Jean Paul felt his body relax as he exhaled a breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding. Robert didn't hate him at least he had that, if nothing else.

"Talking to him made me think, I mean neither of you know the other all that well. Maybe it's time you try to?" Annie's continued, slightly tentative in her suggestion and Jean Paul realised that she was a little nervous of him. That thought unsettled him and so he smiles just a little to reassure her.

He was absolutely aware of his reputation as a cold jerk, he often sort refuge in that reputation, but Annie was his ally here at Xavier's and he truly valued that.

He had very few true friends here and Annie was the only one he could talk to about his ridiculously infatuation. Rogue, whilst being a dear friend, was never a choice because of her long-standing friendship with the Iceman and the thought of having a heart to heart with Logan of all people, well that almost made Jean Paul laugh aloud.

He mulled her idea over for a moment. In many ways it did appeal to him, the idea of spending time with Robert always did but surely he would just be torturing himself by giving himself a taste of what he couldn't have?

"If nothing else, it'll maybe it'll help you get some sort of closure?" Annie added, obviously wanting to get some kind of response from Jean Paul. "And it might be good for both of you."

He arched his eyebrows at that "Do you know something, Annie?"

"Who me? Nope."

Her expression was too innocent for him to trust it.

"Annie-"

"You've said it yourself: he's miserable and no-one's seeing it." She paused momentarily to flick her hair from her eyes. "He needs someone to see it. You see it. He needs you."

Jean Paul swallowed as the thought that Bobby might need him in any capacity sank in. He felt certain that Annie must be getting at something, perhaps in-between discussing the sexuality of the local French-Canadian and kissing Bobby, she and Drake had actually talked. Perhaps she knew more than she was saying, which was infuriating to him.

"Mon Deiu, Annie, why don't you just tell me?" Jean Paul sighed heavily though deep within him he could feel that spark of hope bubbling up inside of him.

"There you are!" A male voice cried out happily and their private peace was gone. Annie's focus instantly moved to Alex as she jumped up and into his arms. "I've been looking all over for you." He informed her before turning to Jean Paul "I'm not interrupting, am I?"

"Only in a literal sense," Jean Paul replied causing him to be lightly swatted by Annie. "Anyway, I best be going." He certainly didn't want to stick around for the hetero PDA's that new couples were so prone to. As he began to walk away, Annie grabbed his hand once more. He half turned to look at her, she was still wrapped in Alex's arms.

"Don't forget what I said. Just try it." She then releases his hand and turns back to face Alex, wrapping her arms around his neck with a soppy, adoring expression that Jean Paul sincerely hoped he never wore for anyone.

He hurried away, back inside the house through the patio doors that lead into the large kitchen. Finding that Bobby had finally moved from the spot he'd been haunting all evening, Jean Paul made his way through the groups of people loitering with drinks in the kitchen.

As we walked, he was thankful that someone had taken control of the music. Whilst not exactly a fan of hip hop it was certainly a better alternative to having his ear assaulted by bubble gum pop. He moved through into the the rec room, where the main party was focused, hoping to spot Bobby separate from the crowd. His hopes were dashed, no Robert at all.

It was probably for the best, he decided as he sighed heavily. Between the pair of them, he and Annie had drunk four bottles of wine since starting at 4 o'clock. His metabolism, and body in general, moved at such a speed that any inebriation would pass far quicker than for anyone else but the fact stood that talking to Robert whilst his judgement and self-restraint might be impaired was a poor idea.

He excused himself from the party without being stopped by anyone and quietly made his way to his room. He knew there were no slumbering children to disturb but still he crept through the halls, it was a habit that had been quickly ingrained on him. As he walked, he found himself thinking that without the sounds of whispered conversations and the tinny noise of headphones playing as the children attempted to stave off sleep, the mansion felt quite empty.

Jean Paul had been quite surprised by the way he'd settled into living at the school. Initially, he'd not been keen on the idea of living here when he could easily afford a luxury apartment rather than a settling for a standard size room with small en suite bathroom. He had been informed however that part of the teaching job was living with the students and he'd found he liked it a lot more than he'd ever expected and not just because of proximity to Bobby. The mansion felt like a real home in so many ways, something that Jean Paul had often lacked in his life.

He let himself in and crossed the room. It was gone midnight and he intended to simply crawl into bed since red wine in such large quantities always made him feel pleasantly warm and sleepy. As he was heading straight to bed he didn't even bother to turn on the light, he pulled his dark sweater off and dropped it in his laundry basket before crossing to his window. He needed to let some air in his room on an evening like this. By chance as he opened the window, he glanced downwards and froze: Bobby.

Directly below his bedroom window, on a small wall that separated patio from the sprawling lawn, sat the object of his affections. Bobby had his legs stretched out before him and was leaning back on his hands, gazing up at the night sky. Next to him sat a half drunk plastic cup of something and his expression was a distant one. Jean Paul was confident that Bobby had no idea he was being watched.

Jean Paul could easily fly down and talk to him as Annie had suggested, no insisted, he do but he hesitated. This all seemed too straight forward, too easy. He never got what he wanted, he always fell in love with the wrong man, with the heterosexual so why would this time be any different? Especially when Bobby had never shown any attraction to any males ever. Why fly down there to either be rebutted for attempting friendship or, far worse, have his advances rejected? Not that he could ever honestly picture himself making any sort of move on Bobby short of in his fantasies. The idea of doing anything like that in real life was enough to terrify him.

In that moment of hesitation and internal struggle, Jean Paul's decision was made for him by someone exiting the mansion and walking directly to Bobby. The large feathered wings gave away the identity of the mutant instantly and Jean Paul's expression darkened: Worthington. He may have been in the process of talking himself out of going to Bobby but he was inclined to still blame Worthington and not himself for the missed opportunity. He did not abandon his post at the window, however, he watched silently.

"What're you doing out here? You're missing all the fun, Bobby." Worthington said as he drew closer to Robert. Jean Paul shook his head, the man was utterly dense.

"Thinking." Bobby's voice was soft and somewhat sad though Jean Paul doubted the the winged wonder down there had noticed.

"It's that time of year already is it?" Worthington's joke fell flat as it was met with silence from Bobby continued to gaze upwards. "Ok, I'll bite, what are you thinking about?"

There was along silence in which Jean Paul and Worthington both waited for Bobby's reply. It wasn't quick in coming though, Bobby seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts and his eyes were still trained upward when he eventually uttered a single syllable.

"Cloud."

Jean Paul looked up at the sky himself and found that it was utterly clear; the almost full moon was shining brightly and all the stars were visible. Had Bobby finally lost his mind?

His gaze moved back down and he saw that Worthington was suddenly standing, almost awkwardly, staring into his beer instead of looking at Bobby. So 'Cloud' clearly meant something to him even if it didn't to Jean Paul.

"I, uh, um wow..." Worthington stumbled over his words. "Haven't thought about that in a long time. It was a long time ago"

Bobby said nothing and Worthington fidgeted with his shirt.

"Not really." Bobby eventually disagreed, his voice was soft and Jean Paul had to lean out of the window a little to be certain he heard the other man. "Sometimes at night, one like this when the sky's all clear, I wonder is Cloud right there? Is Cloud looking back at me?"

Jean Paul exhaled heavily, so Cloud was a woman who'd apparently left Bobby to go into space. Considering he was in Xavier's school, this certainly wasn't the strangest break up story he'd ever heard. Though if this Cloud had been so important to Bobby, why had Jean Paul never heard of her?

Long before he'd joined the X-men, when he was still in Alpha Flight, he'd had missions in which he'd fought alongside Bobby. He'd known all about Lorna, even about a human named Opal and naturally the news that Bobby and Annie had kissed had spread like wildfire. After all this was a school and a school's primary function seemed to be to spread gossip like it's going out of fashion. There had been no talk about this Cloud, however. He wondered why.

Worthington had sunk down to sit on the wall, behind Bobby and facing back at the mansion. Jean Paul took a step back into the dark; he didn't want to risk Worthington looking up and seeing him.

"Why torture yourself, Bobby?" He asked, putting his empty beer bottle aside on the patio floor and shaking his head "You had a lucky escape, I reckon coz her leaving meant you didn't have to break up with her. The whole 'Am I a Boy? Am I a Girl? What will I be today?' routine just fucked with your head. I don't blame you really. If it were me, well, I would have-"

Jean Paul stopped listening as his brain was in overload, what did Worthington mean by that? Had Bobby dated a transsexual? Did this Cloud suffer from gender confusion or perhaps had she, he, whatever gender pronoun was appropriate, had they been a shape shifter like Mystique and simply enjoyed switching gender?

Worthington had just said it caused Bobby confusion, did that mean Bobby had liked having a gender switching partner, if indeed he had had one. Or if not liked it, at least not hated it since he'd obviously stayed with this Cloud or there would have been no more relationship and no more confusion. Was this what Annie had found out? That Bobby was possible bi-curious or maybe even bi-sexual? If so, why hadn't she just come out and said it? But then, he had been rather abrupt with her so maybe he hadn't given her a chance or his rudeness had just made her decide he should find out on his own?

Or was he jumping to too many conclusions. He risked leaning out of his window so that he could see Robert again. As he did so, he tried to remind himself that even if by some sort of miracle Bobby was indeed bisexual, that didn't mean he'd ever give Jean Paul the time of day.

Down below, Bobby had sat up. He was now perched on the wall like Warren but his expression was defensive, his arms folded over his chest.

"Do you ever hear me saying you're better off without Betsy or should get rid of Paige?" He snapped with an ugly look on his face, anger obvious in him.

Warren seemed utterly taken aback that Bobby hadn't agreed with him. "I'm just trying to help, Bob-"

"Maybe I don't need your help." The Iceman stood and stormed back inside leaving a very confused looking Worthington sat alone.

Jean Paul lent against the window frame, his mind trying to process the scene he had just witnessed and it's possible meaning.

He sighed sadly thinking of the anguish on the younger man's face. How could everyone else be so blind to it? He shook his head as he wondered aloud "What's going on in that head of yours, Robert?"

**End of Chapter One**

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing for X-men so I'd appreciate any feedback you're willing to give.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or any of the characters or this would have probably happened in the comics  
>Chapter Two Summary: In which Jean Paul begins to doubt his sanity, Beast thinks he knows what's going on and Bobby goes for a trip.<br>A/N: I am English so I use the English spellings of words, sorry for any confusion! And apologies for any mistakes with the French, it's been 8 years since I dropped French in favour of Spanish.

Chapter Two 

Jean Paul had spent a terrible night struggling to sleep and by 6am he'd decided there was no use in lying there any longer.  
>He'd spent more than half the night trying to make sense of the conversation he'd overheard. Time and again he'd go through a cycle of getting his hopes up before pessimistically crushing them again and when he did finally sleep it's wasn't for long and it wasn't restful. He dreamt Bobby Drake constantly. They were the kind of dreams that had him waking up sweaty, breathless and lustful, and it was driving him half mad.<p>

Needing a diversion from his own mind, he decided to go for a run. A nice and normal human run to try to focus his pent up energy and desires into something productive. So that at least when he next saw Bobby, he wouldn't have the uncontrollable desire to jump him. Well, no more than usual at least.

He made his way down to the locker rooms that the staff and various x-teams shared and quickly changed into his sweats. As he changed he was very much glad that he was the only one awake at this time; he wasn't dense and knew that at least some of the men where uncomfortable to change in his presence and such ridiculous behaviour always put him on edge. Considering the previous night's festivities though, he doubted many would be leaving their rooms before midday which suited him just fine.

Already feeling his mood improving, he headed out into the huge garden. He'd decided to jog around the grounds since it was more than big enough and it simply an easier option. He still wasn't 100% familiar with the surrounding area, not enough to go running early in the morning anyway. He didn't want to suffer the humiliation of having to call the mansion and tell them that he was lost.

As he began to jog, he found a solace in the rhythm of it. He focused on the pounding of his feet on the ground and the steady inhale and exhale of his breathing. It all helped him to just shut his brain off and he felt truly at peace as he ran laps around his invented pathway. It felt good to simply run in a 'normal' way instead of using his powers, it was almost therapeutic.

The in-peace didn't last long. In fact it lasted only until he re-entered the men's locker room and found he wasn't the only one who'd decided that an early morning work out was in order. Several other men were in there, all grumbling about Scott. Apparently he'd phoned from the field trip to ensure that they were still doing Danger Room sessions without him. From the grumbles, Jean Paul also quickly ascertained that threats and blackmail had been made and all who were present where the ones that had been able to regain consciousness after last night.  
>It was a motley crew assembled before him, there were faces from all of the teams present and some of whom Jean Paul wasn't even certain he'd met before. That was to be expected, he supposed. The mansion was large and it was easy to avoid people when one had a desire to do so and if people weren't in his class or on his team, he had very little need to interact with them anyway.<p>

Most the men seemed to be fresh from the shower and were in varying states of undress but Jean Paul inevitably noticed Bobby first. The younger man was staring into his own locker, still in his ice form and looking distinctively uncomfortable. This struck Jean Paul as decidedly odd; Bobby had after all been in the X-men from a very young age and so had never phased by any of the aspects of life here in the mansion, including the locker room. Why would it be, therefore, that he was now so clearly uncomfortable with it? He felt a touch of relief that he at least he knew he wasn't to blame for the tension: Robert hadn't even noticed him enter the room. Worthington had though and was already hurriedly redressing as though scared that Jean Paul might attempt to molest him at any moment.

"Relax, Worthington. I'll never lower my standards enough to find you attractive." Jean Paul reassured him with a scorn in his voice, causing a nearby brunette man with heavy stubble to snicker. Their eyes met and the other man nodded a greeting of sorts to him, amusement evident on his face. Jean Paul nodded in response but moved one without words since he couldn't actually remember the other man's name and didn't particularly care because Robert was in the room and therefore had his undivided attention. Whether he wanted to it or not.

He made his way over not really knowing what he was doing, after all he and Robert weren't exactly close but after last night he was beginning to wonder if perhaps this was why Xavier asked him to come to the school. Xavier had hinted that there were some gay or at least sexually confused mutants in the school who may need Jean Paul's guidance, perhaps it was Bobby that he had had in mind. Though even as he thought it, he doubted that logic. It was just too perfect for him if Bobby was the one. And life was never that easy or perfect. Still, it didn't hurt to speak with Robert, he decided, even if he didn't do anything more than chat.

"Hey Iceman, gonna bother to shower or just stink up the place?" One of the guys asks jovially as he sprays himself with deodorant.

"Is it even possible to sweat when in ice form?" Someone else asks, initiating a discussion between the pair and they turned away to their lockers without seeming to notice Bobby's lack of response: no answer, sarcasm or even bad jokes. Nothing.

"Bonjour, Robert." Jean Paul said softly, mostly to discourage eavesdroppers though no one seemed that interested, most were making loud grumbles about wanting breakfast and/or their beds and utterly uninterested in Northstar's conversations.

Bobby looked up with evident surprise on his face followed by a flicker of confusion. "You, eh, weren't in the Danger Room...were you?"

Jean Paul was slightly taken back by the odd way Bobby deemed to greet him "No...I've been working out." He said slowly, looking at Bobby in concern as he wondered what exactly he'd been drinking last night.

Bobby's expression immediate cleared and he smile a little "Thank God, I thought I was really losing it there. Danger Room on zero sleep really fries the brain." He turned a little more to face Jean Paul fully, his body language seemed a little more relaxed and welcoming."So, why are you up so early if Scott's not blackmailing your ass?"

"Couldn't sleep, went for a run." Jean Paul shrugged as he wondered internally how he should direct this conversation. He wasn't good at the opening up and getting to know someone thing or particularly good at getting others to do it. "Is that an acceptable enough reason to you, Otterpop?"

"I suppose I'll let it pass just this once," Bobby had a small smirk on his lips. Not a real smile but enough to make Jean Paul more aware of his heart pounding. "But you do realize that going for a run is kinda cheating when you're a speedster."

"And what would you deem appropriate exercise for a 'speedster'?" Jean Paul propped his arm up against closed doors of lockers, leaning in a little as he matched Bobby's smirk. If he forgot his inner turmoil, if he forgot his wonderings about Cloud, and just eased himself into the natural banter he and Bobby had always enjoyed then he could at least get through the conversation in one piece without losing his head and doing something foolish.

"Slogging it in the Danger Room with the rest of us mere mortals." Bobby replied with a jokey tone as Jean Paul tried to ignore the fascinating way that his ice form glistened under the lights. Usually he only saw Bobby in this form during a mission or battle, he'd never really had the opportunity to simply appreciate the raw beauty of Bobby in ice form. "We've never done anything in this combination before," He gestured to the other men in the room, many of whom were dressed and leaving in small groups. "so the whole thing was a bit of a disaster. Could've really used you in there actually."

"Considering how often I've had to save your ass lately, I'd be inclined to agree." Jean Paul replied, not exactly nastily but there was a definite edge to his voice that he hadn't quite intended. He was just trying to focus on not obviously flirting in the locker room, not to mention ignore the near constant stream of x-rated thoughts currently filling his brain.

"Well, I've had a lot on my mind lately." A sudden darkness passed over the Iceman's face before he smirked once more. "Or maybe you just bring out the distressed damsel in me?"

"I sincerely hope not since I was hoping you would join me for dinner tonight and don't plan on having to fend off any more homicidal husbands from you." He said dryly before reviewing what he'd said and freezing.

He hadn't meant to say any of that, it had just sort of come out and now he couldn't take it back. Bobby was staring at him with a quizzical look as Jean Paul realised it had probably sounded like he was asking the other man out on a date which was far too forward a move when he wasn't even certain that Bobby would ever want to date another man.

"I usually go out with Annie but I have the feeling she'll be having her time monopolised by a certain someone for the time being and dining alone is really rather pitiful." He hastily provided by way of an explanation and a moment later Bobby was half-smiling again. It was fast becoming one of Jean Paul's dearest desires to see Bobby fully and truly smile again and to be the one who'd caused it.

"Yeah, sounds good to me. I'll be your new Annie." He agreed, nodding a little causing the light to reflect and prism through his head. "Though I can't guarantee I'll look half as good in that uniform as she does."

Jean Paul somehow managed to smile at that comment, though his mind was still in a state of panic. After last night he could barely stand to think about Bobby for too long a time without getting all worked up so how would he be able to spend an entire dinner alone with him and not do something idiotic?  
>With his mind going crazy, chastising him for his foolishness and recklessness, he somehow managed to continue the conversation with Bobby enough to agree upon a meeting time and place.<p>

Conversation over and locker room empty, Bobby then turned his back on Jean Paul before beginning to slowly return to flesh form. The Canadian quickly whipped around and hurried to his locker, feeling his cheeks flush warm as he did so.  
>Deciding that the communal showers were a very bad idea right now, he changed out of his sweats and managed to let out a hurried "See you later!" to the younger man before leaving as fast as he could.<p>

Mere seconds later, he was locking himself into his en suite bathroom for a very cold shower indeed.

He sat at his desk, pretending to himself that he was grading papers for several hours that morning. In reality he was re-reading the same two sentences at the beginning of Julian's half-assed essay before inevitably interrupting himself. He'd switch from trying to decide what he was to do about Bobby and how to get to know him better, to mentally berating himself for stupidly setting himself up for a fall, to obsessively trying to glean new meaning from last night's overheard conversation before trying to read the paper once again. The cycle itself was maddening and as it was slowly becoming interjected with far more x-rated thoughts, he could see there was no point in continuing the charade of grading any longer.

He stood and stretched as he tried to decide the best course of action to take. His mind's initial suggestion was not helpful at all: it conjured up an intoxicating image of Robert, silk scarves and chocolate sauce. He wasn't even particularly keen on chocolate sauce, he mused as he shook the images from his mind. He needed a practical solution, something that would at least detract from the merry-go-round of Robert related thoughts currently over taking his brain.

Checking his reflection for a moment, he felt satisfied that his appearance was satisfactory and at least his cheeks weren't flushed. There was no outward signals at all that his mind was still giving him random exerts from an x-rated movie starring himself and Bobby Drake. Just so long as he didn't run into Bobby, he might be able to make it the the kitchen without any more outbursts of stupidity. From there he'd just have to figure out what to do next; it wasn't much of a plan but it was a start. Perhaps if Annie could remove herself from Alex Summers' for a few moments he could talk to her since he desperately needed an external opinion on this or perhaps she had the full story on this Cloud person, perhaps that's why she's been so optimistic all along.

He reached the kitchen without running into anyone, ordinarily it would be quite a feat though today he was sure it meant they were all still recovering.  
>On entering the kitchen his first goal was to put on a pot of coffee; he couldn't abide the instant stuff that many of the other residents were happy to drink. He'd decided long ago that, clearly, he had a superior palate to them. But then, the sheer amount of junk food that some of them ate was also proof of that.<p>

As the smell of coffee filled the room and his nostrils, the growl of his stomach suddenly alerted him to the fact that he foolishly had not eaten yet that day. Usually he would have realised sooner, his fast metabolism be such that he had to eat fairly often but today his thoughts had been elsewhere, he supposed.

It was all Drake's fault, he decided as he made himself brunch. Bobby was dominating his every waking thought and it was making him careless, which considering he was now an X-man could get potentially dangerous. His brain, however, had gotten stuck on the thought of Robert dominating him and had descended once more into ever more explicit thoughts.

He could feel his cheeks flush a little and his pants grew a touch tighter as he tried to push the images away and just eat his food and enjoy his coffee. He didn't like feeling so out of control of himself, it made him feel like a love sick teenager and that in turn made him think of Paige Guthrie every time Worthington came near her. He couldn't hold back a shudder as he hoped that he didn't look as simpering and moronic around Bobby as Paige did around Worthington.

Whilst he ate, the kitchen slowly came alive as the smell of coffee reawakened some of the inhabitants of the mansion and enticed them inside. For a time he tried to focus on the people, maybe people watching would get rid of the images of Bobby handcuffing him to the bed and having his wicked way with him.

Those who entered the kitchen all seemed to be in varying states of suffering; some managed to grunt a vague greeting in his direction whilst others raised a hand or forewent greetings all together in favour of coffee. As the caffeine revived them, they all began chatting and Jean Paul wolfed down the last of his food in an effort to avoid the socializing, he just couldn't stomach it right now. But where could he go for refuge?

The solution hit him like a bolt of lightning, it was so obvious he couldn't see why it had taken this long for him to realise it. He needed answers about this Cloud and about Bobby in order to set his mind as ease enough to at least function at dinner and who knew Bobby better than Hank McCoy? Well, perhaps Worthington but the day Jean Paul had to ask him for dating help was the day that he killed himself from shame.

He discarded his used plate, mug and cutlery in the dishwasher as he decided how to go about this plan with subtlety. After all he neither knew Hank particularly well nor trusted him not to go straight to Bobby or any of the other X-men and tell them everything if he discovered Jean Paul's interest in the Iceman.

He grabbed the pot of coffee and poured the last of it in the mug. When complaints were uttered he pointed out sharply, with French expletives interjected throughout, that it was expensive coffee he'd bought himself and if they couldn't be bothered to buy their own they should settle for the instant swill that they usual had.  
>With that he left the room, not even remotely bothered by the glares and mutinous mutterings. Most of them expected him to be pretentious and rude and he'd met with those expectations, besides many of them had never even spoken to him before.<p>

Armed with a hot, steaming mug of coffee and a sort-of plan of action, Jean Paul felt more like himself again. Perhaps Beast would tell him this Cloud nonsense was all a misunderstanding and he'd be able to go back to life quietly loving Bobby in peace. At least when he had been certain that Robert was straight and would never return his feelings he could function moderately well, even if he did occasionally go non-verbal in the younger man's vicinity. Non-verbal was certainly better than accidentally asking him out on a sort-of date that Bobby very likely didn't realise was a date.

Outside the door of Dr Hank McCoy's laboratory, Jean Paul took several deep breaths to compose himself and prepare what he was going to say before knocking the door.

"Come in,"

He opened the door carefully, keeping the coffee cup as steady as possible and entered. His eyes cast around the room in interest, he'd seldom had a chance or reason to enter the lab after all, before he approached Hank sitting at a desk full of paper and books as he typed on a laptop open in front of him. He was hurriedly putting something away in a file.

"Am I disturbing you?" Jean Paul asked, eyeing the blue feline man almost nervously now that he was standing before him. Not that he wanted to show he was nervous, after all he was simply dropping in to speak with a colleague, one he rarely conversed with but a colleague none-the-less, there was nothing suspicious or odd about that, he reasoned to himself.

At the sound of his voice, Beast had looked up with obviously surprise on his face. Whomever he'd assumed his visitor to be, he'd clearly not expected it to be Northstar. In a silent pause between them his expression changed to intrigued and then finally a faintly resigned look.

"I suppose this is a visit I have half been expecting." He admitted, making Jean Paul's insides run cold. Had his affections for Robert really been so obvious, did this mean that the other X-men were well aware of it too? Perhaps laughing and joking about it, maybe placing bets. Did Bobby know? If that was the case, Jean Paul might as well leave the mansion now to spare himself further humiliation.

"Oh?" Was all he manage to say, his stomach was churning and he could taste bile.

"I thought I might have offended you by coming out when I'm not actually homosexual. Despite my reasons for doing it, I'm sure one could argue it was an example of appropriation as well as insulting to those mutants who do live with the double stigma."

Jean Paul stared at him for a moment, he'd been so wrapped up in his own troubles lately he had hardly given two thoughts to what Beast had been saying or doing.

"Not at all," He assured Hank as he found his voice once more "Though it is beyond me why someone would want to publicly come out as a gay mutant when they're not going to reap any of the benefits of it." He smirked a little and Hank's features relaxed a little into a naturally inquisitive expression.

"Well then, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked, removing his glasses and turning fully to face Jean Paul. His gaze was curious if not a little puzzled, which was to be expected since Jean Paul was hardly famous for dropping in on people to make small talk.

"I thought you'd perhaps appreciate a mug of real coffee down here," Jean Paul decided to start with, flashing a charming smile as he place the steaming mug on the desk. Hopefully a gesture such as that would warm Hank to him enough to spill the information he needed. Maybe.

"And what do you need in return?" Hank asked, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Is it so unbelievable that my motives are purely altruistic?" Jean Paul asked with a tone of innocence before he followed it with a chuckle. "I suppose I wasn't as subtle as I would have liked."

Hank chuckled his agreement before picking up the coffee and inhaling the scent of the hot drink. He smiled and took a deep sip then let out a satisfied sigh and motioned for Jean Paul to take a seat.

"I was hoping, perhaps," He started, feeling nervous again as he did so. Although Hank was watching him kindly, he still had the feeling that he was being scrutinised like one of the slides under the many microscopes in the lab. "You might be able to give me some advice or insight. The benefit of your experience, that sort of thing." He waved his hand in a would-be casual way.

"And I can certainly try to." Was the non-committal response, Jean Paul didn't really blame him. They hardly knew one another after all.

"Last night at the party..." Jean Paul trailed off not quite sure how much truth he should tell. "Bobby was rather...er, mélancolie. He was talking about someone called Cloud and I think he argued with Worthington. He seemed rather distressed and I thought perhaps since you know him so well..."

He felt horribly vulnerable as Hank watched him thoughtfully for an extended pause before a sudden realisation seemed to dawn on him and he smiled. "You know Jean Paul, expressing concern for your team-mate isn't shameful, you didn't need to come to me in secret. Perhaps you should have spoken to Robert instead?"

"If he wouldn't talk to Worthington, why would I fair any better?" The Canadian counted with a dismissive shrug.

"Sometimes talking to a person who does not know you very well is far easier than someone you've always known. There's no preconceptions and expectations to be a certain way." Hank reasoned, before adding "Bobby probably just had a little too much to drink and got a little over emotional, it's happened to the best of us."

Jean Paul shook his head. "Non, it was not just alcohol. The way he reacted towards Worthington...there has to be more there. He just, he did not seem all that drunk, he seemed hurt." Jean Paul felt anger rise within him on the Iceman's behalf. Why did all of Robert's friends automatically dismiss any emotions he showed outside of the 'Clown' stereotype they'd bricked him up in?

Hank at least seemed to think about what Jean Paul was saying, resting the mug back down on the desk and studying the other man for a minute before asking "Do you know what Warren did to upset him?"

Jean Paul open his mouth, failed to speak then closed it again. The blue man's gaze seemed to burn into him as though it were trying to expose all his secrets and he didn't like it. He nodded and then opened his mouth again. "Worthington made negative remarks about this Cloud person, he said Robert had had a lucky escape. Who is Cloud?"

A tension rose in Jean Paul as he waited, this could be the moment that his hopes were (most likely) dashed that Bobby could ever look at another man lustfully or lovingly but on the other hand...

"Cloud was extremely complicated. For all involved."

Jean Paul frowned, that wasn't exactly the answer he'd been hoping for. So he pushed. "Robert gave me the impression that Cloud was a person?"

Beast visibly hesitated in replying. He seemed to wage an internal argument of some kind before finally speaking. "If I tell you this, it's because I believe that you're not one to take such information likely. That is to say, you're not a gossip and you won't cheapen what I'm about to tell you into some sort of gaudy tale for the girls to giggle over."

Jean Paul shifted forward in his seat eagerly for the information though he was utterly unaware of doing so. "D'accord," He nodded earnestly. "That is correct."

Hank nodded slowly and seemed to be considering his words as he began "There was a time when Bobby, Warren and I joined a team called The Defenders and one of the other members was Cloud. At first Cloud appeared to be an ordinary woman, by our standards anyway." He allowed himself an amused smile for a moment with Jean Paul tried to return, though he really wished that Beast would get on with it.

Finally, after another sip of coffee he did. "Bobby and she dated and for a time it was going very well, until she developed a habit of unexpectedly turning into a man at the drop of a hat."

Despite having suspected something of this sort, he felt his mouth open a little in surprise and he felt that stupid spark of hope rise as he asked "How did he react to this?" That's what really mattered, though since there's been no evidence of Bobby ever dating a 100%, constantly biological male before or since this Cloud incident, Jean Paul suspected that he already had his answer.

"Admittedly, not very well at first. He found it distressing and alarming, as did Cloud. No one understood what was happening or why. It really did happen quite suddenly. If I recall correctly he told me the change happened at least once whilst the were kissing, and even once when they were in bed. The strain of it took it's toll on their relationship."

Jean Paul nodded thoughtfully, thinking about Bobby's words and behaviour the night before. Bobby seemed to miss Cloud last night and was rather defensive of the relationship. Had he simply glamorised the memory of it? Did he just miss the woman or the man also? This was providing more questions than answers.

"Ultimately it was discovered that Cloud wasn't a mutant or even a human but a sentient nebula." At Jean Paul's blank expression, he clarified "Cloud was a star."

There was a silence as Jean Paul mulled over all of the information he'd just heard. Perhaps Annie was right, he had assumed a lot about Bobby. He certainly hadn't expected any of this. This, of course, didn't mean that Robert was guaranteed to jump into his arms or bed but it raised a possibility.

It also suddenly shone a light on a fact that Jean Paul had neglected. He'd had this crush on Bobby for some time. In truth it had begun a long time before he'd become an X-man. He'd first fallen years ago during one of the many co-missions with Alpha Flight, it had been so long ago even he wasn't sure how long he'd carried the torch for the other man. The initial crush had long since flourished into something much stronger, something he might even in his rare unguarded moments call 'love', and yet he didn't know all that much about Robert Drake.

Well, that wasn't strictly true. He knew quite a lot of innocuous trivia. He knew that Bobby loved to eat breakfast cereal for dinner, enjoyed watching day time soaps simply to heckle them, despised pears with a passion and was one of the best in the entire mansion with the youngest students, he was a natural with children. He knew Bobby hated silence and sitting still for too long, spoke the worst attempt at French that Jean Paul had ever heard and loved watching the Winter Olympics. Even the Curling.

He knew all the trivial things that one would expect to learn when obsessively watching the oblivious object of one's affections but he knew very little about Bobby's life, Bobby's past. Though he supposed there was time to learn it all, if he wanted to and if Bobby allowed him to.

"I cannot presume to know what's going on in Bobby's mind as of late, admittedly we haven't spent as much time together socially as we once did. Life has become rather complicated for all of us these days." Beast sighed and though Jean Paul knew of some of his troubles he sincerely hoped he wouldn't start unloading them on him as he knew he just didn't have it in him to be sympathetic to anyone who was neglecting Bobby right now.

"But," The blue furred scientist continued "I do know that he has always regretted the way things played out with Cloud. Perhaps it was just alcohol drudging up sad memories of lovers past, and Bobby has more than his fair share of those or perhaps he is in need of a shoulder and a friendly ear." He gave Jean Paul a pointed look that concerned him, had Beast realised more about the situation than he was letting on? Hank was famously intelligent after all and he, Jean Paul, was not the worlds best liar.

"Why me? You are his best friend." He tried and failed to keep all of the accusation from that statement. He knew people felt he was selfish but at least he was trying to do something to help Robert, his so called friends were hardly rushing to check on his well-being.

Belatedly, he realised that Hank might be making a very clumsy attempt at pushing Jean Paul towards Bobby in order to set them up. That would make some sense since he'd probably already worked out the ulterior motive for the Canadian's visit. He opened his mouth to rephrase the question or perhaps even apologise but Beast was already talking again.

"You're the one he spoke to about Cloud," He reasoned as though it were obvious "You're the one he's reaching out to, there must be a reason for that."

The conversation soon wound down and Jean Paul left, a little less nervous but just as deep in thought as he had been before. He now knew Bobby had dated a woman who was also a man but was really a star and found himself wondering why Jerry Springer never filmed an X-men Special.

He was halfway up a flight of stairs when he realised he had absolutely no destination in mind and, through lack of choice, decided to head back down to the sick bay on the off chance that Annie was there and not elsewhere with Alex.

He turned around sharply and crashed headlong into someone, sending them both tumbling to the bottom of the staircase.

"Merde!" He cussed as he carefully pulled himself up. He'd certainly have some nasty bruises in the morning but he was otherwise OK. After assessing himself, he remembered he should also check whomever he collided with.

He hurried over to the male form who was laying on his front, groaning.

"Je suis desolee," He said as he moved closer to the prone body. "Are you ok?" He knelt down in order to assess the situation more fully and the man on the floor rolled over carefully, practically into his lap.

"You sure know how to sweep a boy off his feet, JP." Bobby said, his voice a little strained with pain as he looked up at the older man but there was humour in it too.

"I didn't know you were behind me, are you ok?" He asked, still concerned. As Bobby was laid out partly on his lap, his hand instinctively came out to rest on his chest to steady him. He was startled by the icy cold that his hand was met with. Although Robert usually functioned on a temperature lower than the average human, he'd never been freezing to touch before, at least not in this form at least. Though Jean Paul had already learnt once today that he held false beliefs about the other man so perhaps this was yet another of his misconceptions.

Getting over his initial surprise, Jean Paul shifted his gaze back to Bobby's face as he opened his mouth to ask again him if he was hurt. His voice was silenceed, however, by the expression on Bobby's face. His eyes were glued on the hand still resting gently but firmly on his chest with a confused and startled look on his face before it melded into a 'faintly-pleased-but-still-bewildered' expression that made him look utterly adorable to Jean Paul.

"Are you ok, Robert?" He repeated in a softer tone "Are you injured, mon ami?"

"Can't say it was a fun route down the stairs but I think I'll survive," Bobby assured him, smiling a little though there was still an odd quality to both his face and his voice. "So, you invite me out to dinner then physically assault me, were worried I might start thinking you actually liked me otherwise?"

"Vous n'avez aucune idée combien je vous aime." Jean Paul sigh heavily, shaking his head a little.

"Is there a button somewhere on you I can press to get the subtitles?" Iceman asked with a playful air to his voice "Or do I just need to tweak a nipple?" His hand rose teasingly and Jean Paul took a hold of his wrist. He was having a hard enough time controlling himself as Bobby lay over his lap, he didn't think he could handle it if anything more happened. Except now his mind was having a field day with the idea of Bobby playing with his nipples and he really needed to break this body contact. Immediately.

"If you are not injured then how about you cease using me as a chair?" He replied with a smirk as his mind began making suggestions with highly colourful imagery of how exactly Bobby could use him.

Moments later they were both standing, carefully stretching sore limbs and brushing off their clothes. Bobby smiled a touch sheepishly at Jean Paul who, despite himself, found that he was smiling right back at him.

"So...I guess I'll see you later." Bobby said turning to leave before wheeling back around and adding "Oh, hey, where are we going? Don't want to under-dress for the occasion." And with that, Jean Paul began mentally undressing Bobby as he tried to speak.

"Oh, uh, I was thinking Chinese?" He managed to say hurriedly, relieved that he did in fact know a Chinese restaurant nearby that had a good reputation that he'd yet to try. It fitted in neatly with his excuse for asking Bobby to dinner in the first place.

"Great, can't wait." And Jean Paul's heart pounded as he realised how sincere Bobby seemed. The idea of doing something other than his now usual moping seemed to genuinely excite the other man. Bobby turned again and start to walk away, calling over his shoulder. "But just so you know, I don't put out on the first date!"

Jean Paul made himself chuckle in response as he wondered, was that indeed a genuine joke or had Bobby meant it? Could there be the smallest of possibilities that he could consider tonight to be a date?

Only one thing was certain: Jean Paul Beaubier needed a break from his thoughts. And a lie down. And a God damn Advil.

End of Chapter Two

Translation:

Vous n'avez aucune idée combien je vous aime- You have no idea how much I like/love you


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Possibly, Maybe: Chapter Three  
>Author: Blu_Eyed_Demon<br>Rating: PG-13  
>Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or any of the characters or this would have probably happened in the comics<br>Summary: Bobby's utterly miserable and no one but Jean Paul seems to be noticing...  
>Chapter Three: In which we finally get an insight into Bobby's mind.<p>

Chapter Three

Bobby Drake felt as though some of the weight on his shoulders had been lifted for the first time in what felt like forever. Sure, a trip down the stairs hadn't exactly been a dream come true but he enjoyed the easy banter he could engage in with Jean Paul. Bobby could have a conversation with the Canadian without feeling like he was expected to be a certain person. If he was in a bad mood, which was more often than not lately, Northstar didn't make him feel obligated to smile and joke when he didn't have the energy for it.  
>Now that he knew that Jean Paul was gay he was starting to think maybe that had something to do with it. He'd probably lived with other people's stereotypical expectations and just made it policy not to put them on other people. He was just cool like that, Bobby decided.<p>

Maybe if he could just not think about _it_, that thing that on his chest that made him want to puke and punch something simultaneously, he could just spend a nice and normal evening with someone and enjoy it. That would make a nice change.

He settled down in the blissfully empty rec room with a large bottle of pepsi and a bowl of dorito chips, determined to lose himself in TV for the afternoon.  
>He didn't though, he found himself staring blankly as he thought about the thing he wasn't meant to be thinking about. Jean Paul had touched him, touched him right there and the world hadn't imploded.<p>

No one had touched that patch of ice, well, Annie had in a clinical way a nurse would but she hadn't exactly hidden her distaste or horror. Jean Paul hadn't pulled away from the cold though. He hadn't looked horrified or disgusted, just surprised. He didn't even moved his hand away.

Bobby didn't understand it. Normal people just didn't like the cold, that's why he'd been so damn scared lately, scared and angry. People needed warmth and tenderness, that's what they instinctively searched for and what he was fast losing. As if he needed any more reasons why he was dateless. He didn't like to think about the last time he'd actually had sex because the memory was so distant, so vague, that it just depressed him all over again.

He was willing to bet Jean Paul never had a shortage of dates, after all rich and attractive always made up for a sometimes snappy personality, besides, he wasn't as bad a guy as some people claimed. He certainly didn't deserve the things some of the students said about him, that was for sure.  
>Bobby frowned as he backtracked through his thoughts, had he just thought of Jean Paul as attractive? Well, it was clearly because he was just being observant and calling a spade, a spade. Not for any other reason, nope not at all.<p>

Though he appreciated the distraction, he wasn't really sure why of all the available options in the mansion, Northstar had chosen to invite him out. After all, there were so many others in the mansion that were far more cultured than Bobby, not to mention less of a jerk. He knew he'd been an absolute dick lately but also felt justified in being one, after all he had lost control of his body and was thus losing any chance of ever having a real and fulfilling relationship. Surely, that had to give him license to be in a bad mood?

So he'd taken it out on anyone who hadn't been in the original X-team with him. It was irrational, cruel and stupid and completely irrational, and yet it had made him feel better. For about Five minutes.  
>Now though, he felt lousy every time he thought about how badly he'd treated perfectly nice people. He'd even gone so far as to threaten to kill Jean Paul and yet Jean Paul had asked him to join him for dinner. The poor guy must really be lonely to resort to asking Bobby for company.<p>

He changed the channel over to an old episode of Buffy as he stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth. He watched for a moment as the gang fought off an army of zombies.

Now that he was thinking about it, it occurred to Bobby that Jean Paul really didn't seem to have many friends here in the mansion. Bobby had friends but none of them had time for him lately so he felt he could sort of relate to the other man's loneliness. Who knows, maybe their banter was a sign of a good budding friendship. He'd always liked the guy well enough, he had a very quick sense of humour that Bobby appreciated. He'd always thought his power was pretty cool, envied his skill at winter sports and admired his ass.

Wait a minute.

Bobby choked on his doritos in shock at himself. Why did he just think that? He hadn't been checking out Northstar's ass, had he? No, of course he hadn't, because Jean Paul was a man and a team mate and Bobby was trying to avoid both elements in his prospective dates. His track record with women was bad enough, he was always left for a more 'manly' man (often Alex fucking Summers) or because they discover they were a fucking star or-

Bobby forced himself to stop dwelling. He was swearing far too much and since he wasn't really one to swear that often it just proved this wasn't a thought train that he wanted to follow. He was too lonely and bitter to think about the women who'd scorned him right now.  
>He was also certain that, as humiliating as it was to have a woman make it clear he wasn't man enough for her, the sting of shame and embarrassment would be far greater if he was rejected by another man. He couldn't really make sense of why he felt like this and he knew in many ways it was irrational but be couldn't just shut off his feelings about the matter. He hadn't wanted to deal with it, hadn't wanted to want to date men and so he'd pushed any thoughts about men to one side and tried not to think about them again. And definitely hadn't checked out Jean Paul. Well, maybe a little but then that was more the fault of Northstar showing off a great ass in that uniform of his.<p>

He'd never even begun considering the idea of even possibly liking men before he'd met Cloud. The way he'd been raised, the way his family was, it just wasn't an option. It wasn't as though his father was marching around ranting and raving about 'sinners' and 'faggots', it was just never something talked about. Never something that really existed in Bobby's life so he wasn't really aware that a guy could feel something like that for a man. Hey, he'd been a kid after all.  
>And then he'd come to the school and the others boys had gotten girlfriends and so he followed suit, stumbling from one disastrous attempt to another with nothing but a cheery smile and a stupid joke because it hadn't meant much to him. Then things started going down hill, there was Lorna then there was Cloud who opened his mind to a world of scary possibilities and he'd freaked and acted like a jerk. It was like a default setting for him. Ever since then he'd gone from wrong woman to wrong woman, becoming more and more disillusioned as he did so. If this was how badly women could stomp on him, he dreaded to think what a man could do, what Jean Paul could do to him.<p>

He shook his head, smirking at himself almost bitterly, why was he wasting time worrying about whether or not he'd been checking out another man. Soon he'll be permanent ice and all he'd ever be able to do is look and fantasize, why deny himself? It wasn't as though Jean Paul would actually ever be interested in a guy like him. At least knowing that fact and knowing that he, Bobby, would never want date a guy anyway meant he didn't have to worry about rejection. He could just enjoy the company and the Chinese food being paid for by someone else and maybe, just maybe, forget about _it _for a while.

* * *

><p>He had changed his outfit three times but it wasn't because he wanted to impress Jean Paul. No, of course not, nothing like that, he just didn't want to embarrass Jean Paul. He didn't want to wearing the wrong style or colour, look out-dated or clash the colours or anything else that might show him up as a pleb. Jean Paul may have assured him that they were only going for Chinese but he still didn't put it past the Speedster to have found the one five-star, ultra exclusive and snobby Chinese restaurant that existed and take Bobby there.<p>

He checked himself in the mirror once more. He was wearing a shirt that had been a Christmas gift from Warren and he'd never actually worn before. It was a deep shade of blue, buttoned at the wrists and complimented his eyes, or so the women had assured him when he had unwrapped it. He had the top two buttons undone, though had done numerous tests to ensure none of _it _was visible at any angle. With the shirt he was wearing a pair of black pants and black shoes, nothing two over the top just enough that he should hopefully fit in wherever they went.

He ran his fingers through his short hair once more before deciding that he was acting too much like a teenage girl before a date and had to stop. He threw on a jacket and decided to head downstairs, he had about two minutes according to his cell phone to make it to the main foyer of the mansion, their agreed meeting place.

He knew as he hurried through the building that he was going to be late, there was no avoiding it when you lived in a mansion and didn't have speed as part of your super power package. He could only hope that Jean Paul was in a forgiving mood, or at the very least a charm-able mood. Not that Bobby had much charm in order to win him over with.

He found Northstar standing by the front door, watching him with the usual smirk on his lips. He was twirling his car keys around a finger and looking effortlessly poised and graceful in a way that Bobby knew he'd never achieve. As he approached, he was aware of Jean Paul's eyes moving over him. Checking out the suitability of his wardrobe and no doubt praising whomever he prayed to that Bobby had avoided Hawaiian prints for the occasion.

"Hey, sorry about the lateness." His mother had always told him it was good form to apologise when you've kept someone waiting. She didn't however teach him to check out the person whilst he was doing so but there was no use in pretending to himself that he was only looking at Jean Paul's clothes to compare, he knew full well what he was looking at and why.

If he was being truly honest with himself, he'd acknowledge that he'd been looking at Jean Paul a lot since he'd found out the other man was gay. He'd never knowingly spent much time with gay men, well there was apparently two guys in the X-Force team that were causing rumours but Bobby wasn't certain he'd ever had a conversation with either so they were a moot point.  
>Jean Paul, though, he knew Jean Paul and yet had never known that he was gay. Had Bobby been blind from stupidity or by some sort of wilful ignorance fuelled by the fact that he'd never wanted to explore that part of himself and so he'd not seen it in others either? He wasn't sure and, really, he was too nervous for this kind of intense, heavy thinking.<p>

"No problem, mon ami." Jean Paul assured him with a small smile and a dismissive wave of the hand "Since I know you, I did expect it so I had time to bring the car round."

Bobby felt a sudden surge of blind panic, was it that obvious he would change so many times? He then squashed the irrational thought, everyone knew that he was easily distracted and terrible with deadlines, even his own students.

They headed outside together and, once having caught sight of the car, he let out a low whistle.

"You really know how to spoil a guy, huh?" He asked as he looked over the vehicle with awe "Buying me dinner and riding in a beauty like that..." He may never be able to afford a baby like this of his own, but it didn't mean had hadn't always admired cars like this. Having a friend like Warren meant he got tastes of amazing cars that had spoilt him for the kind that he could afford.

"If you're good perhaps I'll let you drive back." Jean Paul had replied and for a moment Bobby looked at him in shock that he'd trust Bobby behind the wheel of such an expensive car before very slowly grinning.

"I'm going to hold you to that, JP." He warned waggling his finger at the other man as he climbed into the passenger's seat aware of Jean Paul replying in French but since he did not understand it, he chose to ignore it.

As he settled against the black leather and buckled in, he realised how good it was feeling to just spend time with someone without all the baggage or angst, just enjoying the company. With all the troubles that he and his friends had been having, he couldn't remember the last time he'd sat down with any of them and just enjoyed it without having to trade horror stories of their own crappy lives.

He watched the older man as they pulled out and began to drive. Since it was the middle of summer it was still perfectly light as they made their way and as they drew closer to their destination, Bobby's grin grew once more. He knew this place and absolutely loved it. When he had told Jean Paul so, he noticed the Canadian very visible relaxed. Who knew he was so uptight about dinner?


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Possibly, Maybe: Chapter Four  
>Author: Blu_Eyed_Demon<br>Rating: PG-13  
>Fandom: Uncanny X-men<br>Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or any of the characters or this would have probably happened in the comics  
>Summary: Bobby's utterly miserable and no one but Jean Paul seems to be noticing...<br>Chapter Four: In which neither of them think they are on a date...

Chapter Four

Seeing Bobby so relaxed and happy had been making his heart ache a little and more than once he'd had to force his gaze back on the road lest they crash. They've been barely together for 20 minutes and already Bobby had smiled more than Jean Paul had seen since in the last few months. They were real smiles to that made his gorgeous brown eyes light up and dance with joy as they made their way into 'The Flaming Wok'. Smiles that made Jean Paul's mouth go dry.

When the waitress led them over to their table, he allowed Bobby to walk in front of him partly out of politeness and partly in order to simply enjoy the view that the snug black pants had to offer him. He wasn't completely certain but he thought he had caught Bobby watching him several times as they'd driven over, and he was nearly certain Bobby had checked him out when he'd first appeared in the foyer so he didn't feel as ashamed for enjoying the view as he ordinarily might have.

When they reached the table, without thinking he reached out to help Bobby out of his jacket. Whilst mentally reprimanding himself, he smoothly pulled out the chair for him and added a playful wink. It was better to create a joke or charade out of this than risk rejection if Bobby wasn't interested in him as a real date.

"So, how come you decided that me of all people should take Annie's place here?" Bobby asked after menus had been handed over. His tone was joking but there was a genuine curiousness to his gaze, as though he really didn't understand why he was there.

Jean Paul had the sudden urge to reach out to Robert, to take his hand or stroke his cheek. He fought the urge but realised belated that he had already begun to raise his hand and so quickly ran it through his silver streaked hair.

He really needed to curb his impulses though or else he was going to do something he couldn't pass off as a joke and ended up driving Robert away forever. He didn't know why he was being so reckless today, he'd had a lifetime to learn how to hide his feelings. First as a teenager terrified of his sexuality, then as a member of Alpha Flight and under orders of the Canadian government. Maybe he'd gotten too good at hiding, though, since everyone had thought he'd hated Walter and Bobby seemed shocked that Jean Paul would want to spend time with him. He could feel the barrier breaking though. He was losing his control and was sure he couldn't hide it for much longer. He was turning into a wreck, falling to the control of his base desires and need for the other man, he didn't know how much longer he could hide it. Perhaps this had been a mistake, in listening to Annie he had simply made things worse.

Realising he hadn't answered yet, he replied "Why not, Otterpop? At least I knew you wouldn't turn me down in favour of Alex Summers." and then realised belatedly that mentioning the younger Summers brother was probably not a good idea.

"Spose not," Bobby agreed, fiddling with his menu "So, I was a last resort, huh? I can handle that." After a moment he showed Jean Paul that slightly crooked and ever so endearing half-smile again.

"Besides, you do owe me after our last attempt at dinner." Jean Paul tried to match the smile, it was easier to joke about the awful night than think about how close Bobby had come to dying and how Jean Paul had ripped a man into two in order to save him. Now that he thought about it, that certainly did make quite a statement about the strength of his feelings for Bobby.

"I owe you dinner...so you're buying me dinner? How does that work exactly?" Bobby's brow furrowed and his nose crinkled. Adorable was the word that ran through Jean Paul's mind as he watched him.

"Hmmm, you pay and we'll go to the staff cafeteria, I pay and we go to your favourite restaurant. Which is the better deal?" He asked, quirking his eyebrows at the younger man.

"You win, I surrender." Bobby raised his hands in a mock surrender and Jean Paul had to repress the image of Bobby utterly surrendering to him in every way. He licked his lips slowly and forced himself to think about something else entirely. Anything else.

"Would you like to share a bottle?" He asked, forcing his gaze from Robert's lips to the wine list "Or rather a beer?"

"Warren and Scott usually just assume I want a coke." The younger man seemed startled that he was being asked such a thing.

"Thankfully, I am not Worthington. Or Summers for that matter." He replied with a distaste that seemed to amuse Bobby. "So what shall it be?"

"You pick, I don't know wine much but you strike me as a connoisseur," Bobby grinned back, his tone playful once more. "The kind of guy who'll make me feel uneducated as he talks about the nutty undertones and the full body of the wine or whatever!"

It took an effort on Jean Paul's behalf to not think about another body that he was far more interested in. He selected a wine and informed the waitress on her return. Whilst he did so he was pleased to notice that although the waitress very clearly made eyes at Bobby more than once, Bobby had responded with nothing more than a polite smile as he handed her back the drinks menu and asking for a jug of water to come with the wine.

As though Bobby had read his mind, he lent in and smirked at Jean Paul "Have no fear, I won't be running off with any women this time. I've learnt my lesson. Besides it's boys night out and girls have cooties."

Surprised, Jean Paul laughed aloud at the childish assertion. Though Bobby wasn't only the childish joker people always expected him to be, the joker was certainly still resided there somewhere in the man.

They fell into an almost relaxed banter, though it was hard to truly relaxed when he was trying to ignore his attraction for the other man. Once the food was served, he picked up his knife and fork and glanced up. Bobby was already eating his beef satay and rice, using chopsticks with such skill that it would be easy to assume he ate every meal with them.

Bobby evidently caught the surprised expression and chuckled again. It was music to his ears, Jean Paul couldn't remember the last time Robert Drake had smiled or laughed so freely. "Didn't you know I dated a Japanese woman?"

"I once dated a dancer, it doesn't mean I'm able to perform Swan Lake." Jean Paul replied smoothly as he began to eat too.

"No but I was basically drilled until I could use them perfectly."

He choked on his chow mein as his mind took the idea of Bobby being drilled and went running with it. For a moment Bobby look at him with confusion before realisation dawned and he let out a loud snort of amusement.

"You're a dirty, dirty man JP!"

* * *

><p>"Are you going to eat that pavlova or just settle for wearing it?" Jean Paul asked with a strangest sharpness to his voice as Bobby licked cream and berry sauce from his fingers.<p>

"I'm just enjoying my dessert." Bobby replied, his voice a paradigm of innocence as he ran his fingers again through the last of the cream, meringue and fruit mess and licked it up.

"'Enjoying' is one word for it," Jean Paul muttered, talking more to his glass of wine than Bobby. "Tu regardez obscènes. Si tu n'arrêtez pas, je ne sais pas ce que je vais faire."

Bobby knew he was flirting. He was smiling and laughing too much and pretending to be more tipsy than he actually was he was. He was also unashamedly making eyes at Jean Paul and enjoying every minute of it.  
>He felt free, like he didn't have to fit a character tonight or even try to, he could be himself and just enjoying some harmless flirting. Besides once he was all ice, no one would want to flirt with him so he had to enjoy it now while he could.<p>

He'd always enjoyed flirting, he was often told he flirted indiscriminately and he supposed that was true. He had once jokingly called Gambit his 'idol in the art of amore' and it was true that after meeting Gambit and seeing his effect on people, he'd always wished he could have that sort of presence. He supposed he had attempt to emulate the Cajun in that way; he hadn't always necessarily known or liked Gambit all of the time but there was still part of him that wanted to be him in some way. Gambit was someone that he could aspire to; Remy Lebeau flirted with women, men and all that was in between and was desired by all. So did Bobby but, unlike Lebeau, he didn't have the charm or sex appeal to actually entice anyone.

Flirting was, when you boiled it down, simply banter and Bobby was great at banter. He just wasn't so good at sealing the deal, not that he was even trying to tonight. Flirting with Jean Paul was fun and easy because he knew that they were both just having a laugh. They were both lonely and flirting was a fun and easy way to spend the time. He knew a man like Jean Paul wouldn't ever honestly want a charmless dork, as many women had called him in the past, with zero sex appeal.

He grinned as Jean Paul topped their glasses, emptying the bottle-their third or was it fourth?- as Bobby finished his dessert. "Are you trying to get me drunk, Mr JP?"

"I think we're certainly on our way," Jean Paul's accent was strong than usual and Bobby found himself thinking it was incredibly sexy which he knew was a dangerous thought to have.

"Is this all coz I said I don't put out on the first date, 'Star?" He was slowly becoming aware of a thickness in his own voice. He picked up his glass and took a glug of the wine, which was of course the most expensive on the menu, then leered at the other man suggestively "You planning on taking advantage of me?"

"Thinking about it, mon ami." The Canadian's naturally pale cheeks were flushed a little pink from the alcohol and he was smiling more easily than usual. His voice had taken a lyrical, playful tone and he waggled his eyebrows a little for effect which made Bobby chuckle.

"We should hang out more often, you're fun." He informed Jean Paul, resting his head on one of his hands, leaning on his elbows as he lent forward.

"It is good to see you smile again, Robert." Jean Paul replied before being interrupted by the waitress who had brought them their bill. Jean Paul paid by card whilst obviously hiding the total cost from Bobby. Bobby didn't really notice any of that though, he was still reeling from the surprise that Jean Paul had apparently noticed his misery when no one else had. How had he known?

This wasn't good, those weren't good thoughts and they were killing the happy buzz the red wine had given him so ,once Jean Paul had replaced his card in his wallet and the waitress had gone, Bobby decided to make a suggestion.

"How about we don't go home yet? No way you can drive us back anyway so we might as well head to a bar? I'll pay, I reckon I still owe you for saving my life or threatening yours or something," He gestured vaguely when words failed him.

"Sounds fun." Jean Paul agreed "Though I assure you I have a lightning speed recovery time so I'd be able to drive us home if you wished it."

"If we die in a firey crash later, I'll be reminding you of that." Bobby snorted as they exited together. The other man held the door open for him as they left and, pausing on the pavement, Bobby noticed it was a much cooler night than the one before. Not that the cold bothered him much though.

Twice Bobby brushed his hand against the other man's, just wanting to feel the warmth of another person and having lost his inhibitions a little, though not enough to actually grab his hand as part of his brain was screaming for him to do. He was glad he wasn't drunk enough to follow the urge, he was enjoying companionship and didn't want it ruined by doing something to cause Jean Paul to reject or laugh at him.

"Where are we going? The Robin?" Jean Paul suggested he looked around, trying to get his bearings. Though not yet fully dark, the sun was setting and it was giving the silver in his hair an interesting shimmer, Bobby noticed.

"No, no, everyone will be there." Bobby said quickly. Looking back to Jean Paul he saw his face was distorted with insult and hurt. Great now he was coming off as the guy who doesn't want to be seen with the gay guy.

"Fuck, no Jean Paul, not that. I just. If I see them I won't be having fun anymore, it's not you. It's them, well maybe it's me but most the time I can't be around them lately and I-" He cut himself off as he realised as he was starting to get emotional, something he really did want the other man to see .

The was a long moment, a long silence in which he prayed that Jean Paul would believe him and still want to go for a drink. He told himself it was because he was enjoying the company and not because he'd become increasingly interested in Jean Paul's lips as the meal had progressed.

"Ok," The Speedster nodded. "Very well, I understand completely. After the gossip Lorna spread, I wouldn't want to be in that bar any time soon if I were you either." Jean Paul agreed as they instead made their way across the street to a dark looking bar boasting a purple lit sign reading 'Voodoo'. The bar was cool and dark but it was clean enough not to offend Jean Paul's famously snobbish tendencies and, somehow, it reminded Bobby of his colleges day.

"What did you mean by that?" He asked, a little confused as they lent against the bar waiting for service. "Lorna's still on lock-down, she can't be telling anyone anything."

Ordinarily, he'd be worried right now but he can't see what Lorna could have said anyway. She was before Cloud, before Bobby's world and sexuality were opened up to new ideas, so there was no way she could know any of his secrets. Everyone knew she dumped him for Alex, it wasn't like that was hot gossip or anything, so he was curious as to what Jean Paul might be talking about.

He grinned but Jean Paul's expression looked stricken as he stared at Bobby. "You, you do not know?"

"Would I be asking if I did?" He pointed out, frowning as little he noticed Jean Paul backing away a little. Quickly, he grabbed a hold of the other man's forearms to stop him from getting away and tightened his grip as he asked "What's going on? What did she say?"

"Robert, please, don't make me." Jean Paul begged and after however many bottles of wine he'd become far more open with his expressions than he ever usually was. Bobby usually had to struggle to guess what the older man was thinking or feeling but right now it was there for all to see. He was upset on Bobby's behalf.

"Tell. Me." Bobby told him forcefully. "Or I'll go to The Robin and ask everyone there."

"Je suis desolee, mon cher," Jean Paul began and Bobby sent him an impatient look for him to hurry up, he knew Bobby didn't understand French after all.

"At her hen party, Lorna made some extremely disparaging comments about you to everyone. She said..." He trailed off and Bobby moved closer, silently urging him to continue.

"She was saying Alex was, that Alex was the only man she'd known. In a sexual sense, you know? Or words to that affect and, mon Dieu it's all my fault Robert, I'm sorry. I expressed surprised because I knew she'd dated you for some time and so didn't understand why she would say such a thing. She said...she said she'd never slept with you because 'Bobby's immature and inexperienced. You don't sleep with Bobby, you endure him.' I'm sorry Robert, I'm so sorry I even asked her."

Bobby stared a him. How had Jean Paul remembered all of that so exactly?

He shook his head, that wasn't the big issue here. He slowly took in the words, the implications of all the women hearing that.

"That's...I...oh fucking shit..." He managed to say, he was feeling sick as he realised that if the all the women knew then by now everyone knew. Everyone had known and were probably laughing at him. It made it all so much worse.

He let his head fall forward, his eyes closing as he tried not to freak out. Due to the proximity he'd gained when trying to get the truth out of Jean Paul, their foreheads touched lightly but he didn't have enough space in his head to worry and care about that fact.

"Robert..." His accent sounded even thicker this time.

"Don't apologise anymore, just get me drunk. I can't. I can't handle this right now." Bobby pleaded, this was supposed to be an escape, a fun boys night out, not this shit. This humiliation.

So Jean Paul ordered vodka, lots of it, and Bobby drank.

This wasn't how he'd planned the night to be.

* * *

><p>Translastions:<p>

Tu regardez obscènes. Si tu n'arrêtez pas, je ne sais pas ce que je vais faire. - You look obscene. If you do not stop, I do not know what I will do.

A/N: Again, apologies if any of the French if not up to pair, I'm doing my best with a old French dictionary and a drunk friend to help.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Possibly, Maybe: Chapter Five  
>Author: Blu_Eyed_Demon<br>Rating: PG-13  
>Fandom: Uncanny X-men<br>Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or any of the characters or this would have probably happened in the comics  
>Summary: Bobby's utterly miserable and no one but Jean Paul seems to be noticing...<br>Chapter Five: In which drunkenness ensues

Chapter Five

They sat at the bar and Bobby swayed a little as he drained the last of his vodka coke. He put the glass back down and at a gesture from Jean Paul the bartender refilled it. The other man also ordered bottles of a beer Bobby had never heard of and handed cash over as Bobby sipped experimentally. It tasted good and there were now four bottles of the stuff sat in front of them so he was momentarily content. He definitely had found the best drinking buddy: good taste in alcohol and the money to pay for it.

"Why do you stay here when the people make you say miserable?" Jean Paul asked him suddenly, jerking him from his now hazy thoughts. He thought about it for a while, before eventually answering with his eyes glued firmly on the beer bottle.

"They're my family. I love...some of them." Trying to order his thoughts was difficult, especially since he'd been drinking to drown his thoughts out. "Where else would I go? No money, no job, no home. The mansion, the school and the X-men is all I've got."

"You've left before though." Jean Paul's voice was reasonable and less drunk than him, which was odd because Bobby was certain they'd been matching one another drink for drink. Just his luck that he was drinking with a heavyweight, or was it him that was the lightweight? He couldn't remember at the moment. The beer was good though, he decided as ran his fingers over the label that read 'Hoegaarden'. It wasn't something he'd heard of before but he was definitely having more of it.

"I always come back though. Been here since I was what? Thirteen? I dunno, I was a kid. Lived here more than with my parents, I'm, I'm you know. What do they call it? Institutionalised." Bobby said bitterly "'Sides it's my home. I do like it I just...things are too much right now."

"How are you institutionalised_, _mon cher beau?" Jean Paul asked and Bobby thought about asking the other man if he knew that Bobby didn't understand French but that would take too much effort.

He leant into Northstar a little, nearly slipping off of his stool in the process. "Steady there, Otterpop. Don't want to have to disturb Annie's date because you're a clumsy drunk."

"I'm, I'm not drunk." Bobby claimed as he lent against the Canadian's shoulder a little, he felt a hand on his back steadying him. He glugged down more beer before continuing. "And I'm instit...thingy because I don't know how to live any other way. I was trained, no raised to be a superhero. I tried normal life and normal girlfriend and I couldn't do it. It wasn't for me. I just ended up back with the X-men or with some other team and the normal girlfriend couldn't hack my weird life and, hey, I'm 'immature and inexperienced' so who's to blame her?"

"Robert, you don't have to stay here if you're so unhappy. You could go anywhere." Jean Paul's hand rubbed his back in a soothing kind of a way and Bobby sighed.

"I don't want to. They're still my friends, I just...there's so many people here now and it's not the same and I miss what it was. I think. Or maybe I don't, I just don't anymore and maybe it doesn't matter coz I'm-" He cut himself off, he couldn't tell Jean Paul about his little problem, it would horrify him. He wouldn't want to touch him any more and that hand on his back felt so damn good.  
>Bobby sat up very straight suddenly. That was dangerous thinking, he couldn't think like that or he'd get hurt again and things were bad enough as they were.<p>

"You're what, Robert?" Jean Paul asked softly, leaning in a little.

"I'm really loving this beer."

* * *

><p>They'd moved on to tequila at some point and Bobby was now slouched against Jean Paul as they both sat in a secluded booth. Robert's warm weight felt so good against him. He was nestled against Jean Paul's side with the Canadian's arm lightly around him, resting across his chest- it had been the only comfortable way to sit. They each sat in their reclined positions with beer bottles in hand having demolished all the tequila shots already.<p>

He looked down and realised Robert was talking. He really should listen, Robert had a lovely voice...

"And to think I was worried that _it _would stop me getting dates. Lorna's already seen to that." He was saying bitterly.

"Why wouldn't you get dates? No one listens to a bitch like Lorna." Alcohol and defensiveness over Bobby drove him to use such language about his former, well, not friend but acquaintance.

"Ice." Bobby slurred a little on the word and it made him seem cute to Jean Paul. Cute was never a word he liked to use but it was the only one that fitted. He was perfectly content to stay cuddled up here with slurring Bobby for as long as possible. "Immature ice. Inexperienced ice. Who wants to date Frosty the Fucking Snowman when there are all the hot, warm, mature options at the school?"

"Some people," Jean Paul told him, voice heavy with suppressed desire. "Prefer the cold to the warm, you know?"

Bobby slowly slid down, repositioning himself so that he lay with his head in Jean Paul's lap, looking up at him. He struggled to remain calm at the proximity of Robert's head to his crotch as Bobby half-smiled up at him. It was a sad smile, the sort that told him that the younger man didn't believe a word he was saying.

He absently stroked Bobby's hair, trying to coax his drunk brain to come up with some reassuring words without coming out and saying 'Me. I would date you, I'd give my right arm for the chance!'

"It's true, cher, for some people cold and ice is more of a turn on than warmth." He continued, speaking slowly to make sure that he's speaking enough English, with so much alcohol it was harder to order his thoughts into a single language. It was the curse of being a drunk bi-linguist.

"Oh great, I'm a fucking fetish." The younger man still in his lap groaned unhappily.

"Robert, Lorna is one woman. One spiteful, nasty woman so why are you letting her drag you down so much, cher?" Jean Paul asks gently, his tender touch moving from Bobby's hair to his cheek. His cheek was warm, warm and soft and good. "No one who matters cares what she thinks."

Bobby's unfocused gaze met his own and Jean Paul tried to smile at him reassuringly, still stroking cheek. Slowly, as though it were a lot heavier than usual, Bobby raised his hand and brought it to the Canadian's lips, tracing the smile.

"You smile like Cloud.." Bobby informed him thickly, his touch lingering for a moment before dropping heavily onto the soft padding of the booth. "You should smile more, Star. Looks good."

"I was told..." He's having trouble deciding what to say and what not to say. He doesn't want Bobby thinking he's a weird stalker. "You loved Cloud very much." He settled on saying. Since he hadn't taken a sip of any of the beer in his hand and it had been a while since the tequila, his hyperactive metabolism was beginning to clear out the toxins and he could feel his head slowly clearing. Probably for the best, he decided, since with Bobby draped across his lap and touching his lips like that, his willpower was crumbling.

"Yup, loved her..." Bobby nodded, awkwardly trying to drink his beer in his prone position. "Loved him too and that was scary...then I lost them and never got to..." Jean Paul wasn't sure if it was alcohol or emotion that was making it difficult for Bobby to speak coherently. He strongly suspected both.

Bobby took another gulp of beer and a little of the liquid missed his mouth and began to trail down his chin, down his neck over his adam's apple and heading for his chest. For one wild moment Jean Paul very nearly gave into temptation to lean down and like it away but came to his sense at the last moment, mentally shaking himself.

"Come on, let's get you home." Jean Paul decided, knowing that, sobering or not, he was fast heading towards doing something he really shouldn't and Bobby was far too drunk to make any kind of choice or give any sort of consent. The last thing he needed was Worthington hunting him down and accusing him of taking advantage of Robert.

It took a long while for them both to be standing at the same time, and even then Bobby was leaning heavily against him for support with Jean Paul's arm securely around his waist. Bobby's mouth was too close to his ear as they made their shakey way to the exit. His breath was hot and heavy, sending small shivers down Jean Paul's spine. His ears had always been a rather sensitive spot for him and to have Bobby's breath so close made his swallow hard and his pants suddenly felt a lot more constrictive around the crotch than they had only moments before.

"Tu êtes ce qui rend très difficile d'être nobles, Otterpop." He told the other man as he shifted Bobby's weight a little.

"French is cool. Will you teach me? Pretty please?" Bobby asked before descending into laughter as Jean Paul scooped him into his arms, deciding it was a much easier way to carry the younger man, not to mention less arousing now that Bobby not longer had close access to his ears.

"I like French." Bobby started again, seemingly perfectly content now that he wasn't focusing on Lorna's disparaging remarks.

Considering how little control the younger man had of his body, Jean Paul decided quickly that his new car was not a viable option and so he decided to use his power to get Bobby back to his own room in seconds.

"French is just so...wow how did we get back here?" Bobby looked around his bedroom with a look of absolute wonder on his face.

"I am, as you say, a 'speedster', am I not?" Jean Paul asked in amusement. He'd actually gone a lot slower than his usual speed since he could still feel some of the alcohol's affect as well as being worried that Bobby might hurl if he went too fast.

He carefully placed Bobby on his feet, grabbing him by the waist when the Iceman swayed dangerously. With one swift motion, Jean Paul had him at the foot of his bed.

"Let's get you in bed, mon amor." He murmured, letting good of Bobby so he could simply fall back onto the bed. The plan didn't go as he'd expected, however, because Bobby suddenly grabbed the front of his shirt. The unexpected tug of Robert's drunk weight brought Jean Paul down heavily on top of Bobby.

"Don't go." He pleaded and, when Jean Paul tried to move off of him, Bobby tightened his grip on the front of his shirt to ensure he wasn't going anywhere. Panic shot through him as he realised that there was no way Robert couldn't feel the evidence of his lingering arousal from having hot breath on his ears.  
>Luckily, he seemed so utterly at peace so Jean Paul could only assume that the younger man was either too drunk to notice or care . Perhaps both.<p>

"Don't go." He repeated insistently, his eyes fluttering closed.

As Bobby's form relaxed on the bed, Jean Paul shifted his body off of him and looked down. It seemed Bobby had past out.  
>Jean Paul shook his head with an affectionate smile. Ordinarily, he would have called this evening a disaster and been quite irritated with the man he'd spent it with but instead he felt closer to Robert than he ever had before.<p>

Moving quietly, he rose off of the bed and carefully removed Robert's shoes, placing them neatly beside the wardrobe before looking around. He'd never actually set foot in Bobby's room before, there had never any excuse or reason to.

The walls were a deep blue, paint chipped in some places which made Jean Paul think it probably hadn't been redecorated since Bobby had first claimed the room or at least not long after. Posters were dotted around the room depicting a variety of movies and winter sports and above the bed was a collection of photographs from Bobby's first days at the mansion up until fairly recently.  
>There was a small desk boasting a collection of student papers, report cards and accounting text books, a television with some sort of games console set up in front of two large bean bag chairs made of a worn looking brown leather. In short, the room was thoroughly Bobby, there was no other way he could think to describe it.<p>

His eyes inevitably fell back to Bobby, who was still lying peacefully on his bed with his mouth hanging open very slightly. Noticing that there was more than a little beer splashed on the sleeping man's shirt, Jean Paul sighed and moved closer. The shirt was more expensive that Robert had apparently realised and deserved to be properly dry cleaned rather than sacrificed to the laundry service of this school. And it had nothing to do the wanting an excuse to see Bobby Drake shirtless, nothing at all.

He moved onto the bed carefully and start unbuttoning Bobby shirt in a way he hoped wasn't too creepy. He didn't want to seem like some sort of desperate predator even to himself.

Slowly, Bobby's eyes opened slowly looking a little vacant "Hey there." He grinned up looking drunk and relaxed.

"Go back to sleep Robert, I'm just going to put this shirt to be cleaned properly. When it comes to labels, you have to be careful how you treat them and you, cher, have been careless with your alcohol." He told Bobby as he unbuttoned the shirt.

"What?" There was a sudden panic in Bobby's voice and demeanour startled Jean Paul "No! Don't!"

"It's ok Robert, it's just-" Jean Paul trailed off with a frown. "Why are you turning to ice, Robert? I am no threat." As his brain caught up with him, he recalled the coldness of Bobby's chest that afternoon and registered Bobby's horror-stricken face as he slowly asked "What's wrong, Cher?" Bobby remained silent, simply staring up at him.

"Bobby? What's wrong?" Jean Paul asked again, his eyes trailing down from the fear in his eyes to the strange patch of ice that stretched over the other man's chest and snaked down just past his belly button. Something was going on and whatever it was, Bobby was scared and Jean Paul was suddenly very, very sober.

* * *

><p>Bobby was too drunk for this, much to drunk. He started to get up but the room span around and he slumped back, misery setting in once more.<p>

"This is...are you stuck?" Jean Paul's accent was strong again and Bobby didn't think it was alcohol, they hadn't been drinking for a while but couldn't imagine why else it would go like that.

He opened his mouth but nothing more than a pained noise came out and so he simply nodded, trying his hardest to keep his emotions in check. He'd been expecting Jean Paul to express revulsion and run but he was still there, eyes moving from _it_ to his face and then back to _it. _Finally finding his voice, Bobby said softly "I got stabbed and now it won't change back. Now it's spreading."

"Oh Robert," The Canadian sigh and gently ran his fingers over the ice. "This is what's been making you so miserable?"

Bobby was to stunned to speak, why wasn't the other man horrified with his appearance? Why was he even touching it? Wasn't the cold hurting him?

"I'm turning to ice, who wants a block of ice? Who'll love someone it's uncomfortable to touch?" Even as he spoke, he was hyper aware of the warm hand running over the cold ice portion of his torso. It felt good, strange certainly, but good.

"Not everyone is as petty or superficial as you expect them to be, Robert." Jean Paul's hand stilled over the thinner trail of ice that dipped down his stomach.

Bobby opened his mouth to ask the other man how he could be so sure, but never formed the question because a realisation hit him in that moment. The way Jean Paul was looking at him, touching him.

Acting on pure instinct and throwing any remaining common sense out of the window, Bobby sat up again and lent forward brushing his lips against the other man's. He'd just felt so fucking lonely lately, that was all. He couldn't help it.

But then Jean Paul jerked back away from him. "Non, Robert, no." His voice was quiet and soft but it rang in Bobby's ears as he buried his hand in his hands once more. How could he be so stupid to think someone like Jean Paul would want to kiss a guy like him?

Mind foggy with intoxication, he tried to think up an excuse for the stupid kiss. He was inclined to blame alcohol and loneliness. And maybe Lorna, it was always good to blame Lorna.

Jean Paul's hands reached out and took his wrists, guiding his hands away from his face.

"Bobby, look at me Cher, please."

Slowly, Bobby looked up waiting for the scorn and sarcasm to start. He blinked furiously as he tried not to think about how embarrassed he was going to be come morning.

"If you really meant that kiss," Jean Paul says, watching Bobby with a touch of uncertainty "Then kiss me when you are not drunk."

Bobby nodded quietly and allowed Jean Paul remove his shirt fully before he lay back down, his mind in a drunken whirl.

"Sleep, Robert," Jean Paul murmured, "We will talk when we are sober."

Bobby nodded again, his body feeling heavy as he rested his head on the pillow, utterly exhausted. "Stay. Please." He was so sick of being alone and the after effect of vast quantities of alcohol had just left him feeling just a little needy.

After the smallest of hesitations, Jean Paul nodded before removing his jacket and kicking off his shoes. Bobby watched with half closed his eyes, feeling pleasantly warm and floaty as Jean Paul settled beside him. Barely awake, he heard Jean Paul murmur in his ear, felt the warmth of his breath and the light tickle of his lips brushing the shell of his ear.

"Bonne nuit, mon amour. Beaux rêves."

* * *

><p>Translastions-<p>

Tu êtes ce qui rend très difficile d'être nobles, Otterpop. - You're making it very hard to be noble, Otterpop

Bonne nuit, mon amour. Beaux rêves.- Good night, my love. Sweet dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Possibly, Maybe: Chapter Six  
>Author: Blu_Eyed_Demon<br>Rating: PG-13  
>Fandom: Uncanny X-men<br>Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or any of the characters or this would have probably happened in the comics  
>Summary: Bobby's utterly miserable and no one but Jean Paul seems to be noticing...<br>Chapter Six: The morning after the night before.

A/N: Whilst 'Bon Matin' is not used by the French as a morning greeting, canadian friends have told me that in Québec, 'bon matin' can be used as an informal greeting which those you have a close relationship/friendship with

Chapter Six

When Bobby woke, his head was pounding and his vision swam as he opened his eyes to blinding light streaming in through the windows. With a small groan, he sat up and tried to suppress the urge to puke and fall back down into the pillows.  
>Taking slow deep breaths, he turned himself to ice since at least in ice form he could heal himself. Using the pure water vapour in the air, he could flush on the toxins and impurities out of him thus curing the hangover. As he stood and moved over to the mirror, de-icing as he moved, he thought distractedly about how useful knowing about that aspect of his mutation would have been during his colleges year, particularly the morning after his 21st birthday.<p>

With a small smile, he turned his now clear and sober attention to his reflection. Standing in the pants he'd worn last night, he inspected _it_. _It_, the patch, hadn't seemed to have grown since the night before. Thank God.

For a moment he felt relief as he lightly ran his fingers over his abs, half warm skin and half cold ice. He swallowed hard as he recalled the way Jean Paul had caressed him there the night before.

Bobby had never been a black out drunk, no matter what quantity or combination of drinks he consumed. Unlike many of his friends, he'd never had the blissful oblivion of not knowing what he'd done the night or the terrifying void either. He'd always had to live with the memories of his drunken endeavours for better or for worse and that morning, he was thankful for it. Some of the exact happenings of the evening had a somewhat fuzzy haze to him but nothing was completely forgotten.  
>At least this meant he hadn't freaked out and made an idiot of himself after waking to find himself shirtless with Northstar asleep in his bed.<p>

Thinking about Northstar, however, led him quickly to think about how he'd kissed the other man the night before, or at least tried to. What had possessed him to do it?

He shook his head at his reflection, it was stupid to try to play the innocent card especially with himself. He'd tried to kiss Jean Paul because he'd wanted to kiss him, it was as simple as that. There was no use in deny it to himself when the thought of kissing Northstar was right now sending a tingle down his spine and creating butterflies in his stomach. There was no more alcohol in his system and yet he still wanted to kiss Jean Paul, wanted it desperately. That was...interesting.

He turned to look down at the other man and smiled. He'd never seen Jean Paul look so open and unguarded before; his expression was utterly serene as he laying on his side facing the space that Bobby had recently vacated. As he'd slept, he'd curled up just a little and one arm had half reached out to Bobby. His hair, usually so neat and perfected, look tousled and out of place and his once pristine clothes were crumpled in a way that Bobby thought made him look even sexier.

He frowned a little at that thought, he couldn't go around thinking male team-mates were sexy or kissable because that would lead to trouble. After all, thinking those things about female team-mates had lead him to badness and heartache and eventual humiliation and a man would only be worse, especially a man like Jean Paul. Jean Paul was notoriously aloof and superior around others, cold and detached and anyway Bobby had never known him to have a boyfriend, or at least wasn't aware of him ever having one. Perhaps he just looked for sex and didn't make those kinda of attachments and then where would that leave Bobby?

But then, all that didn't sound anything like the man he'd gone to dinner with. Last night Jean Paul had been charming, courteous and actually interested in Bobby's opinions. He'd tried to shield Bobby from the harmful words of Lorna, not judged Bobby for not knowing about wine and had looked after him when he'd gotten drunk. In short he'd been a perfect date, until Bobby had derailed the evening and they'd descended into drunkenness. Only, Bobby scolded himself, last night hadn't been a date, it was just a meal between friends. Or was it? Jean Paul had sort of kissed him back before pulling back after all. Hadn't he?

Shaking his head, Bobby decided to shower. At least it would mean that when Jean Paul woke, he at least wouldn't smell like a brewery no matter what else happened.  
>He shut himself in his little en suite bathroom before stripping off hastily and dumping the clothes in the laundry basket. They were creased and stinking from various split drinks, causing Bobby to wrinkle his nose a little in disgust before hurrying into the shower. He turned on the water and simply enjoyed the cool spray raining down on him, unable to keep in the contented sigh that escaped.<p>

Maybe if he was lucky, Jean Paul would sleep for a while yet and he'd manage to get his morning sugar and caffeine fix before the other man woke. Bobby had found it was always easier to make decisions on a buzz, though Jean and Storm had regularly told him that coffee and Lucky Charms were neither a nutritious breakfast nor good decision-making fuel. He supposed, on reflection, that none of the relationship decisions he'd ever made were ever particularly bright so it was hardly fair to blame it entirely on his diet.

The thoughts had brought him back squarely to the decision he was actively avoiding thinking about, let alone making: what to actually do about the sleeping man in his bed? Or would Jean Paul decide for him? Would he wake up horrified to find himself in Bobby Drake's bed and hurry out, thus removing all decision making from Bobby's hands? It was possible, definitely possible.

However, that didn't sound quite right to him, hadn't it been Jean Paul who'd said he should kiss him again whilst sober? But then, that may have been a kind way to turn down the advances of a drunk team-mate without causing offence or awkwardness. And any, he'd promised himself he'd never open up to the hurt a man could cause him so it didn't matter whether or not either of them wanted to kiss the other because Bobby wasn't going to let anything happen again. Was he?

"Screw this, I need coffee." Bobby muttered to himself as he shut off the water again. Yesterday, his problems only went so far as 'I'm turning to ice and no one will ever want me again' and now they went further to include 'I'm turning into ice and now really want to kiss a man which is currently scaring me slightly more than the ice thing.'

He wrapped a towel around his waist before shaking his head, dispersing droplets of water from his hair around the room. He actively avoided looking down, or looking at a mirror: whilst it may not be the top worry on his list right now, he still didn't have any desire to see or think about the patch.  
>Looking around, he cussed to himself as he realised he'd made one fatal error in the showering plan. He'd left all his clothes in his wardrobe, which was on the other side of the room to the door of the en suite bathroom and between the two locations lay a sleeping Canadian that he really didn't want to face in a towel right now.<p>

Slowly, he cracked open the door. Jean Paul was still lying on his side in the same position Bobby had left him, fast asleep still. So maybe if Bobby was very lucky, he could get to the clothes and back into the safety of the bathroom to redress.

He took a deep breath and then walked out softly, holding the towel to himself tightly. As he moved around the bed, he was barely breathing. He was nearly there, then all he'd have to do would be to creep back and then he'd be home dry. He reached out for the wardrobe and-

"Bon matin, Robert."

Bobby froze in position at the sound of Jean Paul's voice, accent strong and thick with sleep. He'd been so close to avoiding this situation but, clearly, God just wasn't that kind to him.

Slowly, he turned on his heels to face the bed as he swallowed hard. Suddenly his heart was pounding violently in his chest though he desperately didn't want it to. He couldn't react to Jean Paul like that, it would just complicate things too much.

He was acutely aware of the way Northstar's eyes were following a droplet of water running down his chest heading slowly but surely further and further south.

"Uh, hi." Bobby choked out causing Jean Paul's eyes to jerk back up to his. There were as many questions in those blue eyes as there were in Bobby's own mind.

"I, uh, I should go get dressed." He mumbled, feeling his cheeks heat up as they flushed with embarrassment. He felt like a clumsy teen in front of Northstar as he scrambled to gather some clothes and then hurried into his bathroom once more.

Once dressed, he stood before the mirror and ran the cold tap. He splashed his face several times before grabbing a towel and muttering to himself

"Get a grip, Drake."

* * *

><p>Jean Paul sat up slowly, stretching his back and arms with a loud yawn. After sleepless nights full of tossing and turning whilst being haunted by desperate dreams, he'd slept utterly peacefully beside Bobby. He wiped the sleep from his eyes as he smiled to himself. Even if Bobby was going to deny the kiss, or at least deny truly wanting it, he'd slept by his side. It wasn't much but it was more than Jean Paul had ever thought he'd get.<p>

"Enough," He murmured softly, feeling a sense of contentment "That's enough."

He knew that he perhaps should feel pity for himself that he'd been reduced to being grateful for these scraps of attention but he didn't, he couldn't. Sleeping beside Robert, in Robert's bed, had brought a peace to him that he hadn't felt in a long time. Even as he caught a glimpse of his creased and shabby appearance in the mirror, his good mood couldn't be squashed. He had enough money to have them well dry cleaned and ironed, if not completely replaced if he wished.

Eventually, Bobby re-emerged dressed in black cargo short and a purple t-shirt bearing a slogan that Jean Paul didn't recognise off-hand. His hair and face were still damp as he stood in the doorway, looking at Jean Paul like he didn't know whether or not he should cut and run. So this would be the 'I really am straight, it was just the alcohol' talk. He could handle that, he'd had a few such conversations in the past. Never with someone he loved, though.

"Why don't you sit down, Robert?" He suggested gently, trying not to order Bobby around in his own room but the younger man didn't complain. He sat down in his desk chair, a 'safe' distance away from Jean Paul, who was still sat on the bed.

A silence lulled between them as they each waited for the other to speak first. Clearly uncomfortable, Bobby broke first as he fidgeted in his seat.

"I'm sorry." He said, to which Jean Paul quirked an eyebrow. Sorry for what exactly? "I'm sorry for being such a drunk idiot last night. Musta been a bit of an embarrassment for you..."

"Not at all," Jean Paul waved a hand dismissively and tried to give a friendly smile and pretend that he wasn't already hurting from the news he was expecting to hear. "At least you, uh, didn't do anything I would call embarrassing. Mostly we talked."

"I remember." Bobby nodded, his expression still clouded over in obvious turmoil. Jean Paul wanted to reach out to him, hold him and reassure him that the spreading ice wasn't the end of the world, that Lorna's cruel words weren't true. He couldn't do those things though because once Bobby had insisted he was straight and denied ever wanting the kiss, no matter what may or may not have been implied the night before, he would push Jean Paul away again and he'd never be allowed this close again. Bobby was about to drive him away forever and he didn't know what he could do, if there was anything he could do, to stop it.

So, he tried to say the things he was thinking before Bobby could speak again, before Bobby could push him away forever.

"I should'nt have told you what Lorna said." He began, running his fingers through his hair nervously "It was meaningless. Just the nasty comments of an attention seeking harlot."

Bobby smiled very slightly "I thought you were friends?"

"Hardly!" The Canadian scoffed "She want a token gay at her hen party and I needed a good drink, besides I'd heard about the stripper that was planned and couldn't resist." He ended the sentence with a small smirk that seemed to amuse Robert a little.

"Me and Annie were invited to rub our noses in it." He needlessly stated the obvious as the amusement faded into nothingness again.

"Naturally, women like Lorna can't have fun unless someone else is miserable." Jean Paul agreed, hoping that he might bring back Robert's smile if he continued to insult Lorna. "If she only invited actual friends it would have been a very small party indeed."

Jean Paul studied Bobby's face in the silence that followed, he seemed to be thinking hard about something as he stared unseeingly, his brow very slightly furrowed. Jean Paul suddenly noticed he, himself, was fidgeting with the sheets and forced his hands to still. He couldn't help thinking about the softness of the sheets and comfort of the mattress. It was a well-worn, well-loved sort of softness instead of the bought kind that Jean Paul's own bedding had.

"If that's your opinion of Lorna," Bobby began slowly, moving his head so that he was looking at Jean Paul but still not meeting his gaze. "Then why did you say you were surprised when she said she and me had never, well you know." A pink tint was rising in Robert's cheeks as he spoke.

Jean Paul's mind raced, trying to find an answer besides the obvious 'I couldn't understand how anyone could date you and not want to have sex with you'. His mouth was going dry as he tried to think of an explanation.

"She made it sound as though..." He trailed off, taking a deep breath as he cursed himself for not having thought of anything plausible other than the truth. "As though there was something wrong with you or, uh, something amusing about the idea. I thought it was ridiculous." Hopefully the statement was vague enough that he hadn't implicated himself too badly.

"You probably wouldn't think it so ridiculous if you'd had to suffer through the 'immature and inexperienced' fumbles of Bobby Drake." The tone was self-deprecating and though he was obviously trying to make light of the comment there was still an underlying bitterness to Bobby's words.

"I highly doubt that." Jean Paul replied before he thought it through. Mentally scolding himself, he bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth as he stared at Bobby who was staring right back.

"Well, you didn't exactly seem impressed by my kissing abilities last night." The blonde ran his fingers through his wet hair again with a small, nervous grin in place.

"There was barely enough of a kiss to judge ability, Otterpop," He chuckled before adding with a more serious tone "You were very drunk and I wouldn't take advantage of anyone like that. Why would I want to kiss anyone only to have them to regret it or worse deny it later?"

"That's why you stopped me? Not because you didn't want to kiss me?" Jean Paul felt a pang in his chest as he saw a light in Bobby's eye, was that hope the other man was feeling? Hope that Jean Paul wanted him? Could that actually be true?

"That is why I stopped." Northstar nodded, unable to bring himself to lay all his cards out for Bobby. He wasn't ready to be that vulnerable just yet, not while there was still even a chance Bobby could turn him down.

"I...I tried to kiss you because," Bobby was blushing as his eyes focus on anything but Jean Paul. "Because I wanted to, not because I was drunk...um...Oh God, this is embarrassing."

"It doesn't have to be." Jean Paul shifted gracefully to the end of the bed, this new position meant that he was face to face to Bobby with their knees almost touching. Bobby's words, the way he wore his emotions on his sleeve, they had finally tipped him to make a move. He reached out a hand, lightly cupping Bobby's cheek as the other man's eyes widened in obvious surprise.

The Iceman's hand came up to grip Jean Paul's wrist tightly as their eyes stay locked. Jean Paul could feel the other man's breath, which was noticeably cooler than the average person's, on his skin as his own heart pounded a samba in his chest.

"You still want to, don't you Robert?" He asked softly, searching for an answer in those soft brown eyes.

"I'm..." Bobby's voice was soft, he seemed utterly torn. "You could destroy me more than she ever could."

He didn't ask who 'she' was because in the end the 'she' didn't matter right now.

Jean Paul sigh softly, thumb gently stroking the younger man's cheek. "Robert, you could easily hurt me just as badly. Any time you let someone close it can hurt but some people are worth that risk, non?"

He lightly lent his forehead against Bobby's, eyes never leaving him as his silently pleaded with the other man to listen. "Is that really a reason to never try?"

* * *

><p>Bobby felt emotionally and physically drained. He wasn't sure for how long they'd talked but they'd covered pretty much everything that Bobby had been freaking out about in the past 24 hours. He'd shared and Jean Paul had shared too. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so open and frank with anyone, he found himself telling the other man things that he'd never said out loud, things he'd never truly admitted to himself. To his surprise, Northstar had been just as open to him as he had been.<p>

As they'd talked, they had moved and were now sitting on the floor side by side with their backs up against Bobby's bed. He felt exposed and open but he found he also felt relieved. He'd never truly realised what a burden it had become to ignore the part of him that scared him most. The real him. Right now he felt closer to Jean Paul than he'd ever felt to anyone else.

"Might I make a suggestion, Robert?" Jean Paul asked, his face turned to look at the Iceman as his fingertips lightly brushed over the back of Bobby's hand. As they'd talked, casual touches seemed to have become just part of their normal interaction, as though in talking and sharing they had gradually broken down walls between them in more ways than one.

Bobby smiled, a soft tired sort of a smile. "You know, I've always liked the way you say my full name like that. It just sounds so much cooler when you say it." The 't' was dropped and the 'r's rolled lazily in the Quebecois accent that made it sound so much more attractive. "When Storm or Emma say 'Robert' it always sounds like I'm being told off..."

"I'll take that as a 'yes', shall I?" Jean Paul seemed amused rather than annoyed by Bobby's less than linear thought patterns. Bobby nodded, turning his hand over so that the Canadians fingers trailed over his palm.

"Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps you think men would hurt your more than women in dating because, deep down, some part of you knows that a relationship with a man would mean more to you than one with a woman. That perhaps it's what you've wanted all along and that's scared you?" His tone isn't at all judgemental or accusing, it sounds much like Hank does when suggesting a hypothesis.

"You're giving me a lot of credit for layers and depths I'm not so sure exist." Bobby joked self-depreciatingly. Jean Paul said nothing, merely watched him. He'd already twice in their talk called Bobby out for avoiding topics with humour, it wasn't a secret that sometimes he deflected but usually he wasn't called out on it. Jean Paul did though, and he wasn't going to let Bobby hide any more. Not from him, anyway.

"Ok, so I guess some of that made sense. Doesn't mean I'm not still scared." Bobby told him more seriously, his eyes trained on their hands, Jean Paul still lightly tracing patterns on his skin.

"It's ok to be scared, Cher." Northstar assured him, and Bobby wondered if he was imagining the accent being stronger or if Jean Paul was doing it deliberately now that he knew Bobby liked it. "So long as the fear doesn't prevent you from being happy."

Bobby smiled at him softly and very slowly took Jean Paul's hand in his and entwined their fingers. For anyone else it was probably a small gesture but to him it was momentous. The way Jean Paul smiled at him told him the other man knew it too but still, Bobby found he couldn't quite match the smile. Now they'd sat and talked for so long, there was only one glaring subject that they'd skirted around: the issue of Bobby's secondary mutation and the fact that it puts a halt to the possibility of a relationship between them.

This had all been either forgotten or looked over by Jean Paul apparently because he was leaning in, eyes closing slowly as he grew closer. Bobby felt panic flood him as he grabbed the older man's shoulders and pushed him back. Pushed him a little harder than intended, causing Jean Paul to fall back in surprise as Bobby scrambled up.

"I-I want to kiss you, Jean Paul." He told the other man, his voice wavering with emotion as he did so. "And I don't want to be afraid to any more but...but, it's not fair on you. I'm turning into a giant ice cube and if we kissed it would lead to dating and it would screw us both up instead of just me."

Bobby had barely finished the sentence when he suddenly realised that Jean Paul was no longer on the floor. It felt like a sudden breeze in the room and then Jean Paul and he were standing face to face.

"You are an idiot, Drake." Northstar informed Bobby with exasperated affection, holding him by the shoulders tightly to prevent him from leaving and looking like he was seriously considering shaking him. "We're not even dating yet and you're planning the break up. Mon Dieu! And people say that I am the pessimist!"

Bobby jerked back, the anger that had stemmed from his months of fear and isolation suddenly rearing it's ugly head.

"Ice, Jean Paul, ice! Solid, cold ice! The cold would hurt you so bad you'd never be able to touch me without it hurting you. Go ask Gambit what that's like to date some one you can't even touch. Go ask him what it's like to never be close no matter how much you wantit, go on! Then come here and say you actually want to date a walking popsicle."

He expected Jean Paul's famously quick temper to flare in response, yell back at him so he could yell again, start an argument and send him running out of the room, running away from Bobby, but instead he was met with absolute calm.

"You've never paid attention to my powers, have you Robert?" He kept a tight hold as Bobby tried to move away.

"You're super fast and can fly," Bobby replied, irritated beyond belief that Jean Paul wasn't doing as he'd expected. "What's your point?"

"How do you think I can fly up so high and not freeze, crétin?" He strokes Bobby's cheek gently tenderly as he shakes his head "I am invulnerable to extremes of temperature. The cold doesn't hurt me, in fact I love it. Ice or flesh, your appearance or temperature will not drive me away. And I will not allow you to push me away." He began to closed the gap between them and Bobby stayed stock still, feeling foolish as he mulled over the information. "You're so convinced you're destined to live out your life alone and cold, so scared it will happen, that you're actively pushing away a real chance of happiness to guarantee it will happen. Don't you see that you are fulfilling your own prophecy, cher?" He ran over hand over the patch of ice on Bobby's torso, just to prove his point.

"God, I'm really acting nuts, aren't I?" Bobby murmured, closing his eyes as he leant his forehead against Jean Paul's. He felt the other man's fingers lightly brush over his hair before coming to rest over the back of his neck softly. Eventually, he slowly opened his eyes to meet blue ones so very close to his own. "Why are you fighting so hard for me when all I've done is be an absolute asshole?"

"I clearly have a weakness for mental instability." There was a small chuckle in the Canadian's voice. "You're not crazy, you're scared. It's understandable but my patience will only go so far so how about we cut to the chase and kiss? We both know it's going to happen."

"I've never kissed a guy before." Bobby warned with a nervy smile as his cheeks became tinged with pink.

"Then we'd better make this a good one," Jean Paul grinned and then added "No more excuses Robert. You're not going to scare me away."

"I guess I'll just have to kiss you then." Bobby jokingly groaned before grinning and leaning in. This time he was sober and very, very nervous. Lorna's claim of his 'inexperience' echoed in his mind as their lips finally touched. He was inexperienced when it came to men, when it came to kissing men and when it came to...doing other things with them and Jean Paul wasn't. That could be a good thing, Jean Paul could teach him but what if he didn't like it or wasn't any good? There was a huge leap between finding a man attractive and actually going to bed with him. If he was so terrible with women, would he be worse with men? Or would he be better because maybe, like Jean Paul had suggested, this is what he was always meant to be doing?

Then all thoughts stopped because Jean Paul was kissing back and he was very aware of the stubble from the other's man's unshaven face. That was new, though not entirely unpleasant. Definitely something he could adapt to.  
>The hand on the back of his neck gripped gently but firmly as another arm snaked around his waist, pulling his body up against Northstar's. His own arms coiled around the older man's body, clutching at his back and feeling the taunt muscles under the rumpled shirt.<p>

A little tentatively, he opened his mouth into the kiss and lightly brushed his tongue against Jean Paul's lips as their chests pressed together. Jean Paul made not sign of recoiling from the cold ice, on the contrary he let out a soft groan as his lips parted to grant Bobby's tongue access and his hands clutched tighter and pulled him closer.

As Bobby's tongue began to explore Jean Paul's mouth, duelling with the other man's tongue, he was aware of small sighs and gasps coming from the Canadian. He'd been informed in the past by certain lovers that at times his mouth was several degrees colder than normal, usually after he'd de-iced, though since the ice was spreading he wasn't surprised that his general body temperature was lower too. At least, unlike many women, Jean Paul seemed to be enjoying the contrast of temperature. In fact, it seemed to be spurring him on as he returned Bobby's kiss with even more passion than before.

Lips crushed together brusingly hard and Bobby's hands roamed over Northstar's back, one hand moving steady south toward his ass as his confidence grew. He could hear desperate, needy noises coming from him that he'd never known he could make before.

This was good, better than good, he'd go so far as to say it was one of the best kisses he'd ever had. Eventually, as oxygen started to become a real issue, he reluctantly pulled back. He opening his eyes and groaned as Jean Paul took his lower lip in his teeth and tugged not too gently before releasing. Their arms stayed wrapped around one another, their bodies pressed together as they breathed raggedly and their chests heaved.

That was definitely the best kiss he'd ever had. He grinned at Jean Paul as the older man slowly opened his eyes and met his gaze.

"Hi," He panted, mostly because it was the only syllable he could muster right now.

"Hello, Robert." Jean Paul grinned back with amusement, running his thumb lightly over Bobby's swollen lower lip "Still thinking of running from me?"

It took several more seconds for Bobby to regain control of his breathing and then to put his thoughts in enough order to respond. "Not if you're planning on kissing me like that again!"


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Possibly, Maybe: Chapter Seven  
>Author: Blu_Eyed_Demon<br>Rating: PG-13  
>Fandom: Uncanny X-men<br>Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or any of the characters or this would have probably happened in the comics  
>Summary: Bobby's utterly miserable and no one but Jean Paul seems to be noticing...<br>Chapter Seven: Slowly exploring their new relationship...

Chapter Seven

Jean Paul sat on the roof, peacefully smoking a cigarette. The night air was cool on his skin, but not unpleasantly so, as he smiled to himself and took a deep drag. It was Thursday evening and the grounds of the mansion seemed to be utterly peaceful for once.

"Those things'll kill you." Bobby's voice was light and playful but there was a serious note in his eyes.

"Considering our line of work, I doubt it." He replied, shrugging a little with a smile. "Do you know any old superheroes? Is there a retirement community for the X-men? Non, there is a grave yard."

"That's...really morbid." Bobby's hand slid over his own, the one resting flat on the roof tiles.

He'd found in the last day and a half that Bobby could be very touchy-feely. He seemed to enjoy any excuse to take Jean Paul's hand or to steal a kiss, not that Jean Paul minded. In the past he had not always enjoyed having lovers be that way with him, especially so soon. Sex was one thing but cuddling and such was usually too personal, too clingy for his liking. With Robert things were going backwards, Robert was already closer than any past lover had ever been and they hadn't even had sex yet, though they were gradually working their way in that direction.

He'd been dreaming of being with Bobby for so long that these little acts of affection seemed miraculous rather than irritating. Though when he'd dared to allow himself to imagine being with Bobby, he hadn't pictured there would be so much baggage and issues, he'd found he really didn't mind them so much. Baggage was what confirmed to him that this was all real and not some extended fairytale styled dream he was having.

He was, however, very aware that since their first kiss, he and Bobby had only spent time together in Bobby's room and never in public. He hadn't objected to it because he knew the younger man probably felt more comfortable in his own room rather than in Jean Paul's, but Jean Paul did wish they'd venture out occasionally. Nowhere special, just perhaps down to the rec. room together just so he didn't feel like a dirty secret. He didn't want to push or force Bobby, not at all, but he also didn't want to be pulled back into the closet himself.

"Not morbid per se, just realistic." He reasoned as he took another drag. He only occasionally smoked anyway. On a relaxing evening like this he'd sometimes indulge in a glass of wine and a cigarette but, thanks to his and Bobby's little binge at the Voodoo bar, he was temporarily off alcohol so a cigarette would have to do.

"Everyone must die. I'm simply acknowledging that we live a dangerous life and that it's more likely to dictate how and when I die rather than one cigarette. Hopefully when I do go it'll at least be meaningful. I hope it'll be when I'm doing something good and not just in the wrong place at the wrong time or slipping in the tub."

"Yeah, I guess I get that." Bobby nodded, taking Jean Paul's hand fully in his own and smiling again, this time without as much obvious concern "I suppose it's a warrior thing, wanting to go down in battle...or maybe we've just been friends with Wolverine for too long?"

Jean Paul smiled softly, bringing the cigarette back to his lips and watching Bobby's unimpressed expression.

"So, why did you come up here with me when I specifically said I was going to have a smoke if you were only going to tell me off for it?" He asked, finding that he was amused rather than annoyed. It was odd, he found everything about Bobby endearing right now and found he couldn't get angry even when he knew he'd be annoyed if it was anyone else. He was sure this phase would pass eventually though.

"Well, maybe because I never turn down an offer to fly," Bobby replied, lying back on the roof and gazing up at the night sky. "Because I like spending time with you and maybe because I wanted to tell you off." He grinned again as Jean Paul rolled his eyes "Hey, can you blame me? So far in this, I've been the screw up. I'm enjoying being on the moral high ground right now, the view's quite nice up here!"

"You are ridicule totalement, Robert. Have I ever told you that?" He asked as he stubbed out and then flicked away the spent butt of the cigarette.

"You say a lot of French to me, JP and I never understand a word of it." He had to admire Bobby's honesty if nothing else. He decided to return it with his own honestly.

"I can be patient, Robert." He told the younger man "But if you are to be my boyfriend then you need to know some things."

When he said the word 'boyfriend' he couldn't help the fact that it had a questioning tone to it, they hadn't really discussed what they were doing or what it actually was and he felt a little silly saying it. He was nearly forty, wasn't he a little old to be having '**boy**friends'?

Then again, Bobby was younger than him. Bobby was still in his twenties and a decade younger than him so maybe it was the right label. After all 'partner' seemed absurdly clinical to him, he'd never liked the label in relation to a lover.

Bobby merely nodded as though encouraging him to continue. He didn't make a huge deal out of the label but neither did he deny it or respond with outrage. He just smiled.

Ok, so Bobby Drake was his boyfriend and Jean Paul was suddenly finding it very hard to remember what he'd been saying in the wake of the almost teenage excitement welling up inside of him.

Mentally, he gave himself a shake and forced himself back on track.

"When I was young, I spent a long time hiding and I don't want to start again. I would never out you because I don't believe in outing but I equally do not believe that staying in the closet is right or healthy. I won't go shouting about us from the rooftops if you do not wish me to but I will also not lie if asked about, for instance, my relationship status. I'm too old to be playing such games." After his little speech, he steeled himself for the outburst. An outburst that never came. Bobby didn't freak out or yell, threaten and hit out, he simply nodded silently with a small frown on his perfect features.

Eventually he said "I don't plan on hiding for long, I'm just trying to get used to things myself before having to deal with them getting used to it." Bobby turned his head to face him once more, brown eyes locking with Jean Paul's as he tried to explain the contents of his mind "It's like with the ice: the longer I leave it the harder it gets. I mean, it's been years since Cloud but you saw how Warren reacted to that."

Jean Paul had admitted that he'd over heard the conversation 'accidentally' through his open window when Robert had been trying to explain to him the day before about Cloud and the subsequent repression of his sexuality that had followed. That way he didn't have to waste energy in pretending to be surprised about Cloud.

Bobby shifted closer and Jean Paul wrapped an arm around his waist as he asked "Would you really let their opinions rule your life so much?"

"No. I just need to find the words to tell them." Bobby's head settled lightly on his shoulder.

"When the time is right, the words will come and I'll be there for you." Jean Paul promised, kissing the top of his head and looking out over the grounds of the mansion as he said a silent pray that Bobby wouldn't hide their relationship, or his secondary mutation, from the world for too much longer. The pain and isolation from that hiding had already hurt Bobby so badly, prolonging it would only hinder their budding relationship.

It was a teenage and silly urge, but Jean Paul sudden felt the great desire to show off his cute and funny new boyfriend to the world and give those who'd doubted them a big 'Fuck You!' especially Lorna and her nasty jibes. He couldn't do that until Bobby was ready to come out though and, hopefully, such silly impulses would have passed by that time.

* * *

><p>Flying down from the roof, Jean Paul took them through a window they'd left open. The hallway was deserted as their feet landed gently on the ground.<p>

Bobby slowly unwrapped himself from Jean Paul, feeling slightly light-headed and euphoric as he always felt after flying. When they'd all been young, Bobby used to love catching rides around the grounds with Warren. They'd both been kids and Warren hadn't yet become particularly skilled with his wings but it had been fun. Since then the only times he ever got to fly were when he was being pulled from a life-threatening situation and it was hard to get time to enjoy the experience when you were actively trying not to die.

"Let's go back to your room," Bobby suggested, grinning widely with Northstar's arms still coiled around him. He noticed that Jean Paul looked a touch surprised as he agreed and lead the way. As they walked, Bobby's mind went back over the last few days. So much had changed for him so quickly: at the beginning of the week he'd been so certain he'd never feel this again, this giddy feeling that only came with the beginning of a relationship, and now here he was with a boyfriend.

When Jean Paul had used that word on the roof he'd been both pleased and terrified. 'Boyfriend' was such a loaded word, it's meant 'serious' and 'commitment' and all the other things a mature, adult relationship entailed. Bobby wasn't even sure any of his past relationships even counted as mature though maybe he'd been to blame there, at least partly.

That morning, he and Jean Paul had had a very serious discussion about sexuality as they'd eaten breakfast in bed. Having spent so many years actively not thinking about it, Bobby wasn't exactly sure what it meant for him now that he was acknowledging his attraction to Jean Paul, to men in general in fact.

Jean Paul had suggested, more than once, since this had begun that perhaps Bobby was scared of dating men because it was, deep down, what he really wanted. Bobby wasn't so sure because that would mean he was gay and he didn't think he was gay. If he was gay, that would mean all the relationships he'd had so far in his life were a lie and that didn't seem right to him. He didn't think he could just negate the relationships he'd had in the past with women by calling himself gay. He had thought he loved some of those women, he'd certainly found them attractive. Hadn't he?

He shook his head clear of the internal debate. He didn't need to start this one again, he didn't need any more mental confusion or conflict than he'd already had in the last few days. All he knew for certain, all he needed to know was that he liked being around Jean Paul, felt good when he was near him and really wanted to kiss him pretty much all the time. Though the thought was a little terrifying, being called 'boyfriend' by the older man had ignited an excitement, a warmth in his icy chest he had never thought he'd get to feel again.

"Are you coming in or do you plan to standing in my doorway all night, Otterpop?"

At the words, he came crashing back down to earth and realised they were, indeed, standing outside Jean Paul's room. He'd never been inside before and, for some reason, walking in seemed like crossing a line in their new relationship, taking a leap forward.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask you, why 'Otterpop'?" He asked as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. His eyes quickly darted around the room. Whilst not small, it wasn't as large as his own though that wasn't a surprise since he was lucky to have his pick of all the rooms and Jean Paul's options had been more limited.

The room was far less personalised that his was, too. No posters, no photos, just a desk piled high in papers with a closed laptop and a bookcase full of volumes. More books than Bobby owned but probably less than Hank owned, it was an average amount of books really though he couldn't help noticing that Jean Paul's own book was on the shelf. He smiled softly and shook his head affectionately. The vain ass.

"Why not 'Otterpop'?" Jean Paul asked with a smile as he sat down on the nearest available space which just happened to be his bed. His expression took a suddenly wicked glint. "An icy treat that's fun to suck."

Bobby could feel his cheeks burning as the implications of the comment sunk in. This side of Jean Paul was interesting but certainly took some getting used to. He'd always known the Canadian to be reserved with an acid tongue, now he was closer he was getting to know other sides to Jean Paul. Very interesting other sides that seem to delight in making him blush and stutter as he didn't know whether to be embarrassed or turned on. Usually he settled for both.

He felt himself growing flustered as he moved closer "I, um, wow, that's...but you called me that way back when you first got here."

"So I did," The Canadian murmured, tracing his fingers over the t-shirt material hiding Bobby's icy abs. His gaze focused on what he was doing and not on Bobby's face. He was slowly pushing up the colourful t-shirt he'd mocked that morning, Bobby let out a small groan as he started lightly kissing over his stomach.

"But that was months ago," Bobby frowned a little as he tried to hold onto his thought and not lose it in enjoying the attention, Jean Paul's fingertips were lightly caressing the 'v' of his hipbones in a maddening, teasing way. "Did you...back then? For all this time, am I that oblivious? Seriously? Tell me I'm not."

The kisses stopped and Jean Paul smirked a little up at him. "I don't think it's healthy to start lying on day two, do you?"

He suddenly felt like the world's biggest ass. "How long?"

The older man sighed softly, his hands coming to rest lightly on Bobby's hips and he arched an eyebrow as he asked "Is that really important right now, Robert? There are much far fun and interesting things to be doing."

"Why didn't I see it though?" Bobby sank down on the bed, sitting beside the other man. He felt pretty bad. He'd been wondering a lot, though he hadn't asked, he'd wanted to know why Jean Paul was putting up with him. Most people wouldn't put up with so much in the first two days of dating, they'd give up but Jean Paul hadn't. He wasn't exactly making it easy for the guy even if it wasn't deliberate; everything was just new, scary and awkward for him whereas Jean Paul was experienced and a little bit intense.

"You weren't ready to see it," He shifted himself to face Bobby again "And I didn't want you to but that's all over now so let's not worry about who did or didn't know anything because there were plenty of misunderstandings on both sides. After all, I was convinced you were straight at the time."

"But-" Bobby was silenced by a finger pressing against his lips followed by a soft kiss to his lips. His arguments, his words died in his throat.

"Every time we start to go even a little bit out of your comfort zone, you babble. You change the subject." Jean Paul said softly, lightly running his thumb over Bobby's lower lip.

"Sorry." Bobby could feel that blush rising again. At least with women he'd know what he was doing, or he'd thought he had until he'd heard Lorna's description of him. Either way this was all new and scary and, well, sudden Bobby had become very aware that he was a virgin. It was like he'd suddenly gone back in time and he was a nervous teenager again.

"Don't be, just be honest and tell me if I'm pushing you too quickly." Jean Paul told him, still with the understanding expression. Bobby couldn't help but think of the past lovers who would have lost their temper with him by now.

"It's not that I don't want to," His voice was soft as he struggled with his embarrassment over having to admit this. In an attempt to appear more confident than he actually felt and to try to reaffirm to Jean Paul that he did indeed want to be with him, he moved to straddle his lap. "I'm just new to the whole idea of letting myself want it. And I don't have a clue what to do half the time."

When he'd moved to straddle the other man, Bobby's hands had naturally come to rest on his shoulders, slowly they moved to either side of his neck as he looked down into those pale blue eyes.

"Well then, you're in luck Ottterpop," His accent was thick again, Bobby noticed. Apparently Jean Paul liked having Bobby straddle him and Bobby wasn't naïve enough to wonder why. "Because, Cher, I am a very good teacher."

Something about the tone and quality of Jean Paul's voice sent a shiver down Bobby's spine as he brought his lips down into an intoxicating kiss.

He spent the rest of the night being taught all many of things by Northstar.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Possibly, Maybe: Chapter Eight  
>Author: Blu_Eyed_Demon<br>Fandom: Uncanny X-men  
>Rating: PG<br>Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men or any of the characters or this would have probably happened in the comics  
>Summary: Bobby's utterly miserable and no one but Jean Paul seems to be noticing...<br>Chapter Eight: In which Bobby takes significant steps forward, Jean Paul yells a lot and the women get the shock of their lives.

Chapter Eight

Friday morning found Bobby Drake heading to the mall with Jubilee. It hadn't been his first plan for the day, if he were brutally honest, but Jean Paul had some business meetings to attend to and so Bobby had decided to use the time to his advantage.

He wanted to make amends with the friends he'd been treating so badly, maybe even work his way up to telling them about Jean Paul if not his secondary mutation. He'd been an ass because he was scared but Jean Paul's words on the rooftop had hit home: he wasn't going to lock himself in another closet and have his new boyfriend end up resenting him for hiding too long.

Jubilee asking him to go shopping with her had been a lucky chance, she was one of the more forgiving X-men when she wanted to be and a good place to start making amends, though she'd been obviously surprised he'd accepted her offer. The shock on her face had made him feel lousy again but at least he was trying to make things right. In fact, he was planning on killing two birds with one stone if he could work the nerve up.

He was hoping that Jubilee was going to be his 'tester'; the first person he came out to just to prove to himself the world wouldn't end if he did. In a way she was perfect: she hadn't known him quite as long as some of the others had and they'd always had a playful friendship based on pranking and goofing off. He was almost certain that she wouldn't react too badly and it would therefore give him the much needed confidence to tell the rest of his friends and perhaps the whole mansion in time. He'd just take it at baby steps for now though, first he had to focus on working up the nerve to tell Jubilee.

"You know Frosty, I've missed this." Jubilee told him over the racks. She had pulled him into a clothes store to play one of her favourite mall games, a game that he knew as 'Dress up Bobby'. Since he wanted her in the best mood possible,and did need some new clothes, he was playing along happily.

"I have too." Bobby replied honestly as she came round and held up a shirt against him, pulled a face and returned the hanger. "I've just had a weird time lately and, you know..."

"You're back to being yourself now, that's all that matters." Jubilee smiled happily and Bobby felt as if he could hug her. He knew she was curious but she still held back for some reason. He wasn't really sure why that was, after all he knew how much she loved to gossip, but the fact that she was trying to give him space made him give into the desire and suddenly hug her tightly.

For her part, Jubilee let out a startled yelp before just hugging, giggling a little. "Bobby, what're you doing, you big Goober?"

The giggling soon quietened and she hugged him back just as tightly. She sounded scared when she spoke. "Bobby? Is there something wrong? Has something happened?"

Slowly, he released Jubilee from his arms and smiled at her, trying to reassure her.

"No, nothing's wrong Jubes. I've just missed you." And as he said it, it hit him hard exactly how much he'd missed her, missed everyone in fact. He'd been so cut off for so long, though it was not entirely his fault since everyone had been wrapped up in their crap that they'd all drifted away from one another, but he knew he needed to make more of an effort.

She gave him an extended look, concern still obvious, before slowly nodding. "I've missed you too, Popsicle." She kissed his cheek softly and then led the way to another rack of clothes.

Bobby followed her for the next few hours, after which both of them ended up collapsed on the couch in the rec. room surrounded by shopping bags as their feet ached.

"We should do that again sometime." Jubilee decided with a content smile as she kicked off her shoes.

"I might need to build my stamina up first, I forgot what hitting the mall with you was like!" Bobby groaned dramatically as he removed his jacket and stretched out on the couch, making a lazy grab for the remote. He hadn't yet found the right moment to talk to her though.

Jubilee sat up straight suddenly with a gasp "Bobby, is that a...Oh my God, you have a hickey!"

"Whaa? Oh, yeah." His fingers lightly brushed over the bruised spot on the nape of his neck. Jean Paul had gotten a little carried away the night before, the other man had been more than a little embarrassed by it this morning but Bobby kind of liked it. It was visible, physical proof that despite the spreading ice, despite all the flaws that were so often listed about him, someone found him attractive. A very sexy someone.  
>It had previously been covered by his jacket and he'd forgotten it was there to some extent, so Jubilee suddenly noticing it had made him jump. At least it gave him a slightly easier way into the conversation he wanted to have with her.<p>

"What are you, like, sixteen?" She asked whilst laughing hysterically and as Bobby started to reply she cut in "No, wait I've got a better question! Who did it?"

"Well, I've been wanting to talk-"

"Oh God! It's a student isn't it?" Jubilee's expression was suddenly scandalised. "A student, how could you? Which one? Do I know her? Is she legal? You are gonna be in so much trouble, Mister! Wait until Scott finds out!"

"Breathe, Jubes. Just breathe, will ya?" Bobby replied dryly as he moved to sit up "It wasn't a student so you can chill out. Just listen, let me get a word in edgeways yeah?"

Very solemnly, Jubilee mimed zipping her lips before leaning forward eagerly for the gossip.

"Ok, so first off I haven't told anyone else yet so..." His palms were feeling sweaty as he tried to think of the words he'd been rehearsing over and over. "I'm seeing someone. Well, more than that really, I'm dating I guess. Can you call it dating when there's only been one date and neither of you knew it was a date at the time?"

"Huh." Jubilee stared at him with wide eyes, zipped mouth apparently forgotten. "And I thought my relationships were complicated."

"Wait, ok? There's more. For a long time I ignored something about me and now that I'm dating, I kind of can't ignore it and I don't want to either. I don't want to stop myself being happy just to fit the image I had in my brain of what I should be or what you guys wanted me to be. It's still freaking me out but I'm so much happier now that I've stopped ignoring it and, and why are you laughing?"

Jubilee was indeed shaking madly as she stifled her giggles though she managed to calm enough to inform him "You lost me a while back Frosty, what're you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say," He paused and took a deep breath. "Jubes, what I'm trying to say that I'm dating a guy."

Silence. Stillness

Bobby felt his chest tighten as he stopped breathing, his heart thudding violently as he waited for the reaction. His tension released when Jubilee's face split into a grin.

"Great, next time we're at the mall we can check out the guys together!" She said happily before tilting her head thoughtfully "You said you hadn't told anyone, so I'm the first one who knows? Oh Frosty!"

He found himself quite suddenly, once again locked in a tight embrace with Jubilee. This time it was made slightly more awkward by the way they'd both been sitting on the couch but it meant even more than the first.

When she pulled back, she beamed as she rambled on "I can't believe I'm the one you chose to come out to first! That's so sweet you trust me like that. Though, you know, come to think of it I had no idea you might be gay, why didn't I see it?"

"Well, I'm not so sure about the gay part." Bobby tried to explain feeling a little awkward though he certainly appreciated how well she was taking his news. "I'm not quite sure what label I am right now but I think having a boyfriend definitely crosses me off of the 'straight' list."

"No kidding!" Jubilee giggled as she poured them both glasses of soda, handing one to Bobby. "So, you said you were seeing someone. Anyone I know?"

Bobby couldn't believe how blasé she was acting about it all but he knew he genuinely appreciated it. It made it so much easier that she wasn't treating him like he'd just turned into the Abominable Snowman or something. Then again, that wouldn't be out of the ordinary for Bobby either.

"Eh, yeah actually," He felt himself grinning as he thought about Jean Paul. It was strange, last week he would never have believed that he'd ever be in this situation at all, let alone coming out as Jean Paul's boyfriend and feeling so giddy about it. There was no other word, he was giddy and he couldn't remember the last time he felt that way over anything, let alone over a relationship.

"Seriously?" She looked nothing short of taken aback. "But I don't know...do I know any who's gay?" Her brow furrowed as she thought about it. Bobby just watched with a smile, he'd put her out of her misery eventually but first he'd let her wildly guess.

"OK, I don't really know him but the only definite is Northstar and you'd never-oh God, it's Northstar isn't it?" Jubilee practically squealed the last half of her sentence as her revelation hit.

"What makes you think that?" He tried to ask as neutrally as possible whilst sipping some of the lurid green sugary soda.

"You're grinning like a moron."

"Am not." Bobby argued, he was not going to be as dorky as that but he could feel the grin he was trying to suppress growing and knew he quickly lost the battle. His cheeks heated up a little as he beamed at his friend.

"You are, aren't you? You're dating Northstar. That's so...weird actually. I've never even seen you guys together." She tilted her head thoughtfully, her large hoop earrings glinting in the light as she did so. "He's just so...And you're just so..."

"Thanks that made a lot of sense." Bobby smirked causing Jubilee to swat his shoulder before she settled back in the sofa beside him and opened a box of double stuffed oreos.

"You know what I mean, he's just so...grown up." She pulled a face and Bobby shook his head, attempting to be indignant.

"And I'm not?"

"Sweetie, your shirt has Smurfs on it." Bobby looked down to wear Jubilee was pointing and grinned widely once more.

"Yeah, I kinda only put it on to see his face this morning." He snickered, remembering how Jean Paul had come out of the shower and rolled his eyes dramatically at the sight of Bobby and once again threatened to take him shopping. At least Jubilee had taken care of that, though he wasn't sure what his new boyfriend would make of the Jubilee influenced purchasing either.

Crashing back to the moment, he asked her seriously "So, you're really ok with this?"

"Yeah, I am. How can I be against something that makes you happy?" Jubilee reasoned gently before adding wickedly "So, if he saw you getting dressed you must be at the staying over point already right? Now, you are not leaving this couch until you tell me every single detail Mister!"

* * *

><p>Jean Paul didn't look up as the bedroom door opened, he needed to keep his focus for only a few more moments to complete the final sternly worded e-mail.<p>

Behind him, Bobby loudly and dramatically flopped onto his bed and groaned "I feel violated."

"If you sat next to Cain at dinner again you only have yourself to blame." He replied dryly as he signed off his name, quickly scanned the email for errors before clicking the send button.

"I told Jubilee."

Jean Paul snapped his laptop shut and spun around on his desk chair. Bobby was lying spread eagled on his bed, his t-shirt had hiked up just a touch to expose a little of his icy abs. He opened his eyes, moving his head to meet Jean Paul's gaze.

"You told her what, Otterpop?" Jean Paul lent forward in his seat. Bobby had, after all, been keeping more than one secret from his friends. He smiled as Bobby reached out lazily for his hand, letting his arm flop back down lazily onto the bed when he found Jean Paul wasn't in close enough proximity.

"About us." He explained, thankfully still smiling so Jean Paul felt reassured enough that it must have gone well, despite Robert's amateur dramatics. "Planned to anyway but she accused me of sleeping with a student so kinda had to tell her."

"And how, pray tell, did Miss Lee come to such a conclusion?" He asked with amusement as he moved himself to sit on the end of the bed. He shifted closer, within Bobby's reach, and lightly ran his fingers over the exposed stomach causing the younger man to squirm just a little.

"She saw the hickey," Bobby chuckled though that could have been from the ticklish caress "And, you know, only sixteen year olds give hickeys. Which reminds me, I owe you one." He suddenly grabbed Jean Paul's tie and tugged him closer.

"Oh no you don't!" He laughed as he covered Robert's mouth with his hand. Coming home from CEO meetings to Bobby were certainly preferable to the wallowing in stress that he used to favour.

"Robert, are you licking me? You are such a child!" He laughed, straddling the other man's hips to ensure he had the upper hand in their little struggle.

"Now," He said very seriously but with a gleeful smile in place. "Are you going to behave, mon amour?" Bobby silently nodded as his hands ran up Jean Paul's thighs, a mischievous glint ever present in his warm brown eyes.

As soon as the hand was removed, Bobby was talking and laughing again. "I'm a child? If I'm a child, that makes you a very bad man."

"Oui, I guess it does." He lent down and kissed Bobby playfully before asking "Now, why do you feel violated Cher? What did the bad Jubilee do to you?"

"She's a helluva loss to the NYPD, that girl is. I just got interrogated for hours." Bobby pouted up at him before chuckling a little "So if she's scarily knowledgeable about us it's not through sudden telepathy it was from force. And tickling."

"Aw, poor Bobby! Want me to kiss it all better?" Jean Paul asked with a wide smile, feeling a little goofy but finding he really didn't care.

He was terrified on one level, in a mere few days Robert had gotten closer than anyone had in years, but on another level he was just full of joy and relief. He couldn't remember the last time he had had this and a small cynical part of him wondered how long it was going to last but he was, for now, ignoring it. Robert seemed to always know when he thoughts were turning in that dark direction though and would inevitably do something ridiculous or endearing or just plain sexy that would banish the negativity.

As their kiss ended, he looked down and tutted at Bobby's shirt again "Why do you wear such hideous clothes, Robert?"

Bobby grinned up at him wickedly "To give you even more of a reason to rip them off me."

Jean Paul found he couldn't argue with that logic as the foul cartoon shirt flew to the floor.

* * *

><p>Robert Drake let out a sigh and stretched out. The evening had been going so well, more than well and he'd even been on the verge of making a radical suggestion, radical for Bobby at least, and now Jean Paul was yelling. The only consolation that Bobby had was that at least he wasn't the one being yelled at.<p>

Apparently Jean Paul had upset some of the people in his office today because this was the third screaming phone call he'd received in succession and, really, who was that angry about work at this time of night? Bobby just couldn't comprehend that, though he realised quickly his own hypocrisy because whilst he was mentally mocking the callers, he was simultaneously admiring Jean Paul's passion.

It wasn't just his passion that was interesting either since Jean Paul had gotten straight out of bed to answer the phone and was still absolutely naked. Bobby's eyes moved over the other man's chest as he gestured wildly with a string of French swear words. The muscles in his chest shifted and rippled a little as he moved and Bobby licked his lips slowly as he admired them.

Jean Paul wasn't overly muscled like some of the men in the mansion, he was lean but well-muscled and toned in a way that showed that he took care of his body. Bobby had heard he had once been a gymnast and knew he'd been an Olympian which, of course, explained the physique but was also just a little intimidating. He had to work hard just to keep up and get by, he didn't mind it but dating another guy definitely made him more aware of his own flaws in that respect. Not that Jean Paul seemed to notice, at least he didn't seem to since he was constantly complementing Bobby . Or perhaps he was over compensating?

Bobby silently shook his head; he wasn't going to do this to himself. Just because he was dating a guy now, it didn't mean he had to turn into an insecure little girl about his own body. He could and should just be comfortable enough to enjoy Jean Paul in all his glory.

With a snarl, Jean Paul hung up on his caller without saying goodbye but his expression clearly softened as his eyes fell upon Bobby. The Iceman was still lying on the bed, as naked as Jean Paul, and he thought dimly that he ought to be self-conscious under such an intense stare but instead he felt sexy.

Sexy wasn't a feeling or description that Bobby was used to applying to himself. Dorky with an occasional cute factor seemed to be the general consensus of opinion when it came to 'What is Bobby Drake?' but then last week he would have said straight as an arrow too, he would have been lying but he would have fought the issue hard if anyone had questioned it. Now though, now he was naked in another man's bed and feeling sexy because of it. Life was just never that predictable with the X-men

With a grin, he stretched out again for Jean Paul's viewing pleasure. The sheet that had lain across him, low on the hips, slipped a little lower as he did so and Jean Paul's eyes followed it.

"Come back to bed," He demanded in a voice he barely recognised as his own, he could see the affect that his behaviour and words were having on Jean Paul. Dimly, he wondered how he could have let himself get so far through life without ever having done this, felt like this before.

He grinned, sitting up and grabbing Jean Paul by the hips as he pulled the other man back down onto the bed with him as their lips crushed together in an intense kiss.

"Robert." Bobby just smiled and kiss him again, pulling the older man down onto him even more. "Bobby-"

"Less chat, more kissing," Bobby replied distractedly, hooking a leg up and around one of Jean Paul's to maintain body contact. He coiled his arms around the older man's neck as he kissed him deeply once more but Jean Paul pulled away.

"Bobby, Cher, stop." He said, commanded, and actually pinned Bobby's hands down when they didn't desist in their groping.

"Was I doing something wrong?" Bobby frowned, a little breathless and a lot confused. Jean Paul hadn't ever stopped him kissing before. He then grinned, glancing at Jean Paul's hands still pinning him. "You know, if you want to take advantage of my not being able to go anywhere, feel free."

"An offer I will very gladly take advantage of but first I must go to the office." He seemed to be reluctant about it but it still annoyed Bobby.

"Office?" He repeated, his voice calm for now."Right now? Seriously? It's, like, gone nine. Who's gonna be there?"

"Believe me, here with you is where I want to be, Cher," Jean Paul stroked Bobby's cheek tenderly and Bobby pulled away from the contact with a frown. "But if I do not go now, those calls will-" He was cut off by his phone starting to ring again. "As you see, they'll interrupt the rest of our night."

"Turn off your phone then." Bobby urged and was hopeful as Jean Paul climbed out of bed though he groaned when instead Jean Paul answered. He climbed out of bed and started trying to locate his clothes so he could leave. Straight away, Jean Paul was in front of him and holding the t-shirt out of his reach.

"Robert, five minutes that's all I'm talking about. You know I can do it quickly, if it's taking too long I'll just fire them all. We will have our night and you will finish asking me that question."

"There was no question." Bobby mumbled a little self-consciously, already feeling himself talked out of it. He wasn't ready, he'd just gotten a little carried away with himself and in what Jean Paul had been doing at the time, that was all.

"There was, my lover." Jean Paul smiled at him affectionately, one hand resting lightly on Bobby's neck."But only ask it when you really think you're ready. Loosing your virginity is not a small thing. I understand."

Bobby's eyes widened slightly, his cheeks flushing pink. "Don't use that word, I'm not a..."

"You are in that way, Bobby and it's nothing to be ashamed of." Jean Paul kissed him softly "I'm going to be five minutes and no more, I promise you."

Bobby sighed softly, shaking his head as he felt his resolve and annoyance crumbling as he stared into those blue eyes. "OK, fine but I'm not gonna be impressed if this gets to be a regular thing." He didn't want to seem like a pushover or anything.

"It will not happen again." Jean Paul agreed and after Bobby had blinked, he was fully dressed in a smart shirt and sweater with slacks. Even though he knew what power his lover had, moments like this still spun him out and he couldn't help chuckling. He happily returned the kiss that Jean Paul gave him until the phone rang again.

"Five minutes." Bobby said firmly, sinking back onto the bed. Jean Paul smiled, repeated the promise and winked before, suddenly, he was gone.

Bobby made a mental note to inform Jean Paul that using his power during, say, a possible argument would not be acceptable. He pushed that thought aside quickly though since he didn't want to be preparing for fights with Jean Paul when they'd only just started dating. That just felt like he was asking for trouble.

Fidgeting, he looked around himself. He'd never been in here without Jean Paul before, hell until the night before he'd never been here at all. Although he knew it was Jean Paul's room it felt more like a hotel room than someone's bedroom, there just weren't that many personal touches and that actually bugged Bobby a little.

Maybe he should buy some paint at some point but then again maybe not. Jean Paul didn't exactly strike him as a colour person. Just like the room, his new boyfriend did seem to permanently live in monochrome. Bobby wondered what it would take to persuade Jean Paul into some colour and how much fun he could have with the bargaining of such a deal.

So content was he in daydreaming about what exactly he could do to persuade JP to his colourful way of thinking, that Bobby made a stupid error. A knock sounded at the door and he got up to answer it, forgetting momentarily that he was neither dressed nor in his own room until he'd already started to open the door. This left him with two options: close the door and rudely ignore the person or just be thankful for the bed sheet around his waist and embrace whatever was about to happen. He chose to embrace it.

If nothing else it would be an entertaining way to come out to say the least because there was no way that anyone would believe Bobby was naked in the bedroom of his famously gay colleague for any kind of innocent reason.

He opened the door fully and found Annie on the other side, her expression one of comical shock. Bobby chuckled to himself, one hand on the sheet to make sure it didn't slip as he lent against the half open door.

"Hi Annie." He grinned as he watched the school nurse imitate a goldfish. He knew from talking to Jean Paul that it had been Annie's pushing that had eventually made that dinner and the rest of this amazingly turbulent week possible so he just enjoyed the moment without worrying too much about a negative reaction.

"Bobby...?" She said his name softly, as though uncertain of what she was really seeing. The Iceman grinned even more, enjoying himself as he tried not to laugh. He could literally see Annie's thoughts of disbelief and shock turn to joy and excitement in front of his eyes.

"This is Northstar's room...right?" He stifled laughter as she asked him the question. He nodded his response since he didn't quite trust himself to speak just yet.

"Oh God, this is huge!" Annie gasped gleefully, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Jean Paul's in there right? I knew it! I told him not to give up!"

"Er, yeah, we're kind of busy right now Annie, how about you guys catch up tomorrow, yeah?" Bobby suggested, grinning as Annie seemed to grow more and more flustered as she hovered, cleared excited and not certain what to do about it. As much as as he was having fun watching her though, he didn't want anything distracting his lover's attentions when he returned.

"You..." Her eyes trailed down Bobby's body and registering the fact that he's only wearing a sheet and the implications of that fact. "Oh, you two are, oh crap. Um, I'll be going now. Have fun and um, yeah." Her eyes seemed to linger on the hickey and scattered bite marks that Jean Paul had left on Bobby. He hadn't expected Northstar to have been quite so possessive, he couldn't think of any other reason why Jean Paul seemed to enjoy marking him so much other than possessiveness unless he perhaps had a vampire fetish. Not that Bobby was complaining, it was actually a lot of fun.

"Just, don't get carried away, yeah?" She giggled nervously and hurried down the hallway.

Closing the door, Bobby laughed to himself. Sure, he knew Annie would keep the encounter to herself for now but it would definitely going to be a funny story to tell somewhere down the line. His life used to be full of funny stories but lately he'd somewhat been lacking humour in his life. It felt great to be smiling and laughing so much and so often again.

Alone again, he was at a loss as to what to do with himself. Absently, he ran his fingers over the Jean Paul's desk and noticed a book. It was in French and by an author he didn't recognise but still he picked it up out of curiosity. As he flicked over the dog-eared and tired pages of the obviously well-read book, two polaroid photos fell out.

The first, Bobby saw as he picked it up, was of Jeanne Marie. He'd met her a few times in his dealings with Alpha Flight but only briefly and strictly in a professional capacity. He'd never really gotten to know her, only ever spoken to her when it was needed for a mission but he knew that Jean Paul loved her absolutely.

Bobby knew only a little about the twins issues and pasts, Jean Paul had yet to be particularly forthcoming about it but Bobby knew it would come in time. Both Jeanne Marie and Aurora, in Bobby's experience, could be difficult if they wished to be but the photo in his hand showed an entirely different side to her.

In the photo she was sat on a couch, reclined comfortably with a glass of wine in hand and she freely laughed. There was something beautiful and innocent about the photo, something wholely devoid of the turmoil and violence he knew the women had been through and that she herself could cause. Here she was just a girl, a happy girl who Jean Paul loved. Bobby smiled, his forefinger tracing the cascade of silver black hair that tumbled down her back as she laughed.

With a smile, Bobby turned his attention to the second polaroid, expecting it to be another of Jeanne Marie or perhaps Aurora, though he wasn't sure how he'd tell them apart since he wasn't overly familiar with the disparate personalities, or even a photo of the twins together but instead it was a baby.

Bobby looked down at it in surprise, wondering who the baby could be. Then again, he'd heard Jean Paul and Jeanne Marie had largely grown up apart so maybe this was Jeanne Marie as a baby? He wasn't sure who else it could be but then if he didn't know maybe it was because Jean Paul didn't want him to know? Realising belatedly that he was snooping through his new lover's things, Bobby picked up the book to return the photos to their hiding place as a breeze suddenly came through the room.

Odd, Bobby frowned to himself since no doors or windows were open. His confusion quickly cleared as he felt arms coil around his waist, Jean Paul had returned as promised. He smiled as he felt soft kisses on the nape of his neck.

"Didn't even need five minutes." Jean Paul smiled against Bobby's skin as the Iceman lent back into him. "Did you want to ask me about something?" Bobby was still holding the photo of the baby.

"I, I wasn't, I mean I didn't mean to pry. I just picked up the book and these fell out." He said hastily but relaxed as he could still feel Jean Paul smiling into his shoulder "Ok, who is this? Jeanne Marie?"

"Non, it is my daughter." Jean Paul replies matter-of-factly, resting his chin lightly on Bobby's shoulder to look down at the photo too. Bobby frowned, his body tensing as he stared at the image.

"Daughter." He repeated in disbelief. How had he not known this? Why had Jean Paul kept the fact that he was a father secret? Why wasn't this daughter here at the school with him?

"You didn't know? I thought everyone knew, it was in all the newspapers at the time and my book." Jean Paul said softly. Bobby pulled away a little, turning to fully face his lover.

"You never mentioned her, you never told me. Why should I read your damn book to get to know you? I want to get to know you like a real boyfriend, don't just assume I know stuff." He frowned, not liking the idea that the whole world knew this and he didn't. "So, do I get to meet her? Where is she? Did you have some straight phase or something?" He knew he was asking too many questions but he didn't know how else to process this startling news.

He swallowed hard as he saw how stricken Jean Paul looked, his boyfriend's voice barely audible as he explained "She died."

Bobby's mouth dropped open a little bit and wrapped his arms around Jean Paul as he marvelled at what a spectacular ass he'd just been. "God, I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago." There was still a catch in his voice though and a glassy look to his eyes which didn't meet Bobby's gaze immediately. Bobby nodded and kissed his lips softly.

"I'm shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry, I was being a jerk." He said softly and stroked Jean Paul's cheek tenderly. His boyfriend lent into his touch just a little and though he was distinctly far more sorrowful than before, he didn't seem angry. "We don't need to talk about her if you don't want."

"No, it's fairly common knowledge and I'd rather tell you personally than you find out elsewhere." They sat down on the end of Jean Paul's bed, Bobby still clutching the sheet to himself. He felt very inappropriately dressed for the conversation. He waited silently as Jean Paul began to speak again, listening intently

"She was abandoned and I found her. I named her Joanne. I loved her and...she had AIDS. It had been untreated all her short little life and it was too late. There weren't the treatments there are today. She died." He spoke softly and slowly but matter-of-factly, only his hands gave away his emotions. They were trembling badly and caused Bobby to wrap his arms around Jean Paul tightly, holding him close.

"She was lucky to have you. You showed her love and she didn't die alone. You didn't fail her, never think that." As he murmured in his boyfriend's ear as he held him, stroking his back gently. Eventually, Jean Paul sat back once more and took a deep breath, blinking furiously.

"You have such a huge heart JP," Bobby told him affectionately, taking Jean Paul's hand in his own "Why do you pretend to be such an ass?"

"Why do you pretend to be such a clown?" Jean Paul shot back without venom, his eyebrows raised as he makes his point.

"Ah, touché," Bobby smiled a little as he conceded defeat.

"Finally learning French, hmm? Well, if you're offering I'd love to touch you," The older man returned the smile, leaning in to kiss him softly. Their lips moved together in a slow, intense kiss as they lay back down on the bed together.

Bobby held him tightly though the earlier urgency was gone from the kisses, now he simly felt closer and more intimate with Jean Paul than he could ever remember feeling with anyone. Slowly, he was learning more and more about the man behind the arrogance and he liked that man. He more than liked, he could fall in love with that man. Easily.

"Jean Paul," He sighed softly against Northstar's lips. The other man's eyes opened to meet his own, there was an unspoken question in them as Bobby took a deep breath and tried not to loose his nerve. "I'm ready. I think. No, I know. I'm ready Jean Paul."

"Robert, are you sure mon amour? Are you certain?" Jean Paul asked him very seriously, looking over Bobby's face as though searching for any sign of second thoughts or regret.

"One hundrend percent." Bobby nodded before leaning in and murmuring softly in his lover's sensitive pointed ear, making the older man shiver. "Make love to me."


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** Possibly, Maybe: Chapter Nine  
><strong>Rating: <strong>PG-13  
><strong>Pairing: <strong>**Jean Paul/Bobby**  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Nothing belongs to me and I'm not making any money for this  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Bobby's utterly miserable and no one but Jean Paul seems to be noticing..

Chapter Nine

"You know, I've never seen you looking casual before." Bobby comented as he pulled off his black t-shirt, having decided it was too small, and browsed for another. It was saturday afternoon and since the children would be returning from their field trip the next night it had been decided that a BBQ down by the lake was in order so they all could enjoy the relative peace one last time.

Bobby was wearing boardshorts, in case he felt like a swim since it did seem to be getting pretty hot even for him, but he couldn't settle on a shirt and had half his colourful collection dumped on his floor.

"We've spent much of this week in varying states of nakedness, is that not casual?" Jean Paul asked from somewhere behind him with amusement in his voice.

Bobby chuckled, still sorting through his own shirts "Your nakedness is seriously sexy, nothing casual about it JP."

"Must you call me that?" Was sighed back, a touch dramatically but still with a lightness that meant Bobby could hear the smile in his voice.

"Oh sorry, would you rather your Otterpop came up with a mildly sexually suggestive nickname for you?" Bobby snickered as he pulled on another t-shirt.

"Very drole. Wear that t-shirt though and I may seriously considering denying I know you."

"Oh, I see how it's going to be: you withhold orgasms until I behave correctly." Bobby laughed as he felt hands already pulling the offending shirt up. He raised up his arms, accepting what was happening as he felt kisses on his shoulder blades.

"All I ask is you not wear shirts that could melt my corneas. I'm rather fond of them, you see." It sounded to Bobby that Jean Paul was trying to to laugh. The words were followed by a light, playful nip to the nape of his neck as the shirt joined so many others on the floor.

Grinning, Bobby turned to face his new lover. His eyes moved downwards as he slowly, silently took in the sight before him. Jean Paul wasn't wearing his usual smart pants and white shirt combonation with choice of smart jacket, smart sweater and/or tie, they were all neatly folded on Bobby's bed. Northstar was instead wearing soft, worn looking beige cargo shorts and a deep olive silk t-shirt that was probably designer. His hair wasn't quite as in place as usual and some definitely designer sunglasses were perched on the top of his head for now, ready for when they went out into the sun.

He said nothing for a long moment, just stared as he took in the sight before him. He quickly decided that somehow Jean Paul was even more gorgeous than ever before. With a slightly mischevious grin, Bobby hooked his index finger in a belt loop of the shorts and tugged him closer to lock their lips together in a kiss. A short, sweet kiss since Bobby knew anything more would detour their plans to join the others entirely.

"What was that for?" Jean Paul asked, still leaning into Bobby just a little bit. Affectionately, he rubbed his nose against the other man's.

"You should dress like that more often," Bobby told him with a mock-serious nod. Northstar chuckled and moved to the wardrobe, taking over the hunt for a suitable shirt.

"Oui? Is that so, Otterpop?" The older man sounded a little distracted as he sorted through Bobby's colourful t-shirt collection.

"Oui oui," He replied, playfully sliding his hands over Jean Paul's ass and squeezed lightly. "Those suits don't do you justice...are you done picking what you'll be ripping off me later?"

Jean Paul strightened up and turned with a smile, pushing a t-shirt into Bobby's hands "If you keep groping me like that, we'll never get down there Robert."

"Can you blame me after last night?" He pulled the shirt on quickly. It was one of Bobby's many school t-shirt, this particular on was navy blue cotton with a yellow 'X' insignia on his right bicep that made Northstar nod approving and kiss his lips again.

Bobby could feel himself smiling even more, he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this content, this light and carefree. He was more than content, he was falling in love and knew it. The more he got to know Jean Paul, the closer they became, the harder he could feel himself falling and, despite the fears he'd always held of letting men close, he wasn't afraid anymore.  
>The night before Bobby had fallen asleep in his arms after having had sex with a man for the first time, something he never before would have dared even consider doing before, let alone wanting to do. It had been intense and passionate and even tender. He was falling in love with Jean Paul, he was happy and wanted everyone to know it. He knew what he was going to do.<p>

"Are you even listening to me, Robert?" Jean Paul chuckled causing Bobby to snap back to the present moment. His Canadian lover smirked in amusement. "Ah, welcome back mon amour. Shall we?"

Bobby grabbed his sunglasses and towel, following Northstar out. He knew his was smiling more than a little goofily but found he didn't care at all.

The mansion was empty as they headed out, apparently everyone else had already made their way down to the boathouse. As they made their way through the sun-soaked staff kitchen and out of the French doors, Bobby took Jean Paul's hand silently.

"Someone might see, Cher." The older man warned mildly as they walked, they weren't yet insight of those sunbathing and swimming at the lake but would be soon.

Bobby shrugged happily. "I want them to."

Jean Paul simply nodded and squeezed Bobby's hand gently, slowly a grin spread over his lips. Small ripples of nerves ran through Bobby but he didn't let go, this was the best way. Jubilee and Annie already knew about them and, instead of having to go through the whole process one by one with each individual adult, maybe one big group outing would be so much easier for both of them.

"I'm not even sure I know everyone down there." Bobby commented as they grew closer to the group.

"You've hardly made an effort Mister If-you-weren't-the-original-five-you-don't-count."

Bobby groaned softly but nodded "Ok, so I deserved that but, you know, I've been getting to know one of the new X-men very well." He sent a sidelong grin at his boyfriend.

"Oh really, is he hot? Should I be jealous?" They were getting closer and he thought some people on the edge of the group were noticing them, staring at them but maybe he was being paranoid.

"Very hot, amazing kisser and sensational in bed." Bobby grinned, feeling his cheeks flush just a little. "So I guess being new to the team isn't always a bad thing."

By the time they'd reached the BBQ party, Bobby was certain at least most of the people had noticed that Iceman was holding hands with Northstar. There wasn't shocked silence but voices definitely dipped as though they didn't want Bobby and Jean Paul to hear them.

With a confidence he didn't quite feel, Bobby lead the way through the group of sunbathing mutants, responding to Jubilee's beckoning motions. Carefully and with their heads held high, they navigated the fellow mutants; some were sprawled out on their towels sunbathing, others were swimming, playing volleyball or soccer, some pouring out drinks and manning the BBQ. Most of them were slowly noticing the new turn of events.

"Hey boys!" Jubes greeted them overly-brightly and Bobby almost regretted his decision as he remembered her last interrogation of him and half planned to turn and walk away. Instead though, he dumped his towel on the ground and accepted the offered soda, cooling it with icy breath and doing the same for Jean Paul's.

The Canadian sat down first and, deciding to make a clear statement for anyone who was still doubting why he'd been holding Jean Paul's hand, he sat himself down between the older man's legs and lent back against him, sipping cool pepsi and gazing out to the lake.

"Comfy there, Otterpop?" Was murmured in his ear as an arm snaked around his waist, holding him gently but firmly.

"Very." Bobby replied contently and slipped on his sunglasses. Behind the dark purple glass he could look around a little more and gauge the reactions, particularly of those who were important to him.

Easiest to see was Warren, down by the water with Paige. He was openly staring, volleyball forgotten in his hand and jaw clenching. Bobby hadn't really been expected anything better than that and was just relieved the reaction wasn't worse. Warren would come around eventually, he was certain of it.

Hank was sitting closer to the boathouse itself along with Annie and Alex among others. He had a smile in place as he returned to his book, still nodding to something Annie had just said. He'd known Hank would be cool and, after a nearly-argument with Jean Paul that morning, he'd agreed to go talk to him later about the secondary mutation. It was just going to be a day for getting things off of his chest, it seemed.

He was aware of others such as Kurt who seemed in the mid-ground between Hank and Warren's reactions and clearly confused as to which way to go. Time would only tell what would come of it, Bobby supposed. Real friends would come around eventually.

"Hey Iceman! When'd you become a cocksucker?" Was suddenly yelled over the hub-bub. The owner of the shout wasn't easily discernible and Bobby hadn't seen who'd shouted. He rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses and steeled himself for more but instead it was like everyone was frozen in shock, and waiting to see what he and Jean Paul would do.

He felt Jean Paul began to stand and Bobby reached back to guide him back down.  
>"Don't" He hissed softly, knowing that when people insulted Northstar's loved ones, especially the homophobes, they tended to end up on the receiving end of high-speed fists of fury. Whilst beating bigots to a bloody pulp did seem appealing to Bobby, he also knew they could and should get through this without violence and just enjoy a nice BBQ. For his part, Jean Paul did sit back down, taking the same position as before and holding Bobby to him protectively.<p>

"OK, Cher, whatever you wish." But the anger in his voice was obvious.

Feeling his cheeks beginning to flush a little as he realised everyone's eyes were on them, Bobby opened his mouth and said loudly to the general crowd since his cowardly attacker was hiding from him.

"Yeah, I'm a cocksucker and I'm damn good at it too! Anyone got a problem with that?" He replied more than a little defiantly, though he was hurt by the words he also knew that it was hardly the worse reaction that could have happened.

Despite his casual façade, his shoulders trembled just a little from suppressed anger and wounded pride. Trembling enough to make Jean Paul to kiss the back of his neck very tenderly. He didn't need to say anything, the gesture spoke volumes to Bobby and to those now staring at them.

Bobby wished they'd just go back to what they'd been doing but it was like people were waiting to see if a fight would break out or not. He could literally feel the tension rising in the group as the silence continued until finally

"Hey Drake." This voice was closer and familiar and though Bobby detected a lot less malice, he was on full alert and taking no chances. He turned his attention to the nearby BBQ that was being manned by Logan.

"Yeah?" He responded with a rough tone to his voice. He knew mouthing off to Wolverine wouldn't help matters but he wasn't going to take shit either. He didn't want some idiot thinking that now he was dating a guy, he was going to be a spineless pushover.

"My beer's gotten warm." The older man stated, holding the bottle out to the Iceman as though he hadn't noticed the exchange that had just taken place. After staring up at Wolverine for a moment, Bobby took a hold of the bottle of alcohol, iced it with his breath and then handed it back. His eyes meet Logan's who gave him an even look, his gaze them moving over Bobby's shoulder to meet Jean Paul before nodding slowly.

Relief flooded through Bobby, though he hadn't given it much thought previously, he had known Logan for a long time and Northstar had known him for even longer. His ambivalence, if not his approval, did mean more to Bobby than it probably should.

"Be good to each other. Don't screw it up." Logan surprised him in saying and before Bobby could muster a reply, he continued "You two want burgers?"

"Oui, I'll have a cheeseburger." Jean Paul replied and Bobby was aware of the general chat and games starting up once more now that the scene was over. Bobby wasn't relaxing just yet though, his body was still tense and alert to other hidden malcontents. Gently, Jean Paul's hand that rested on his stomach slowly and gently stroked and caressed through the navy t-shirt, soothing him.

"And I'll take a burger." As ever, Bobby fell back on humour to hide his discomfort. "So, you're not gonna do the traditional friend talk? 'You hurt Johnny and I'm gonna kick your ass'" He managed a passable impression of Logan having had years of practice to hone it.

Wolverine took a slow glug of his beer and flipped the meat he was cooking before replying "You're both grown men and perfectly capable of tearing out the other's spines if it's deserved." He said evenly with a shrug "Way I see it is most of us only get one chance at life so you gotta do what makes you happy. You want onions on your burger?"

Booby couldn't help the grin on his lips as he said no to onions. Logan's matter of fact response, the way that he didn't even blink an eyelid was reassuring. Hopefully his attitude would lead as example but for now Bobby wasn't going to let himself worry because Jean Paul's hand was caressing him, his lips were kissing him and he was content.

He closed his eyes and basked in the attention that Jean Paul offered him, the affection and the obvious love.

He could get used to this.


End file.
